Dear Abby: My stepmother keeps giving misguided advice about my baby
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had a baby right around the time my father remarried. I didn't know my new stepmother very well when she started giving me parenting advice. The issue is, her convictions are not in line with mine and also conflict with the advice from the CDC or the American Academy of Pediatrics. Some examples: She insists breastfeeding is stunting the baby's growth (she's fine), that babies should be put to bed face-down (dangerous) and that holding a baby in a car is just as good as a car seat (?!). I do my best to smile, nod and go about my business, but she's really pushy and keeps saying she was a nurse, so she knows what she's talking about.
After hearing about that nursing experience one too many times, I asked her son about it, and it turns out she earned a nursing ASSISTANT degree via correspondence and failed twice before barely passing. She never worked as a nurse.
Being direct with her hasn't helped. Talking to Dad hasn't helped (they're newlyweds). Walking away doesn't help; she follows me. What choice do I have, short of banning her from my house (or coming to blows, which would be effective, but not the way I want to go)? — OPPOSED IN OHIO
DEAR OPPOSED: Because Dad refuses to accept that his bride has misrepresented herself, pray he stays in good health and doesn't give her his power of attorney for health care. As to her unwanted and incorrect advice on childcare, listen, smile sweetly and exercise your option as a mother not to follow it. Continue breastfeeding, position your little one in the crib as you have been instructed by reliable sources and never, EVER, let her hold the baby while she's in the car. It's against the law and it could be fatal.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband, "Mark," for 13 years. During this time, I have realized that marrying him was a mistake. His parents didn't have a healthy marriage, and I know he doesn't know what love is. His dad often traveled for work and kept a mistress on the side. My mother-in-law stayed in the marriage anyway.
Mark is very self-centered. I snore. When I do, my husband will wake me up either by a loud noise, plugging my nose or shaking me. He says he can't sleep when I snore. I suggested he use earbuds like he does when he listens to music. His ex-wife also said he was difficult to be married to. I am 59 and confident enough to be on my own. Your thoughts? — READY FOR CHANGE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR READY: Because you have felt nearly from the outset of your 13-year marriage that it was a mistake, I'm thinking it is time you discuss this with an attorney who can explain what a divorce would mean for your financial future. Mark's ex-wife may have been on the right track when she walked out.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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