I’m mad at my lazy husband – he sleeps in every day during school holidays like our teen kids, some don’t see the issue
BALANCING the mental load and getting a happy-medium when it comes to juggling home life is always tricky, especially if one person thinks they’re pulling more weight than the other.
But one mum-of-two has taken to a Mumsnet forum to express her frustrations with her ‘awful’ husband.
Wanting others’ opinions, she explained that even though her two sons are teenagers, she gets up early around 7.30 am to look after their pets.
She said her husband could sleep for hours more and she often has to “wake him up 7 times over the course of hours.”
“Kids only broke up on Tuesday and I’m already annoyed with him,” she penned.
“Kids are teens, so sleep in when not in school. On school days DH has to drive them /collect them as we moved further away for a bigger house and transport links aren’t great.
“But when it comes to the holidays he just won’t get out of bed.”
“It causes so much tension.
“He would happily sleep in ’til midday every day if I left him.
“But I wake up at around 7.30 am and get up to sort the animals and other stuff that needs doing.
“I have to go in and wake him up 7 times over the course of hours.
“He doesn’t seem to think it’s an issue but I think it’s awful to just sleep all morning, every day.”
Many of those who replied to her said she should let her husband sleep.
“Maybe he likes it, and thinks you’re the awful one for moaning at him,” said one person.
A second penned: “Just let him sleep and you can enjoy the peace and quiet.”
“What jobs do you want him to get up for? Why can’t you leave them for him to do when he gets up? Unless he has somewhere to be or something that has to be done let him do what he wants.
“Initially l thought if he’s on holiday from work, let him rest but actually op this would seriously p*** me off.”
“Just because you don’t want to stay in bed doesn’t mean he shouldn’t…
“It would be different if the kids needed sorting etc and I’d expect him to be up before them but if they’re not up I don’t see the urgent need for him to be,” a third wrote.
Some asked if he had a job and she replied he currently didn’t but was volunteering in the afternoons for a couple of hours.
“[It’s] related to his hobby so not a chore at all to him,” she said.
Elsewhere, she replied she “didn’t expect” him to get up with her and she did so because it was her “body clock” but “by 9.30 he’s had a 2.5 hour lie in compared to a schooldays.”
The best sleep routine and environment
Thomas Høegh Reisenhus, TEMPUR® sleep specialist & sleep counsellor, reveals the key components of a good bedtime routine and environment...
A sure-fire way to facilitate a better night’s sleep is to practice good sleep hygiene.
Establish a sleep routine that works for you and stick to it.
This will help your body establish a consistent, natural sleep-wake cycle which can do wonders for your overall sleep quality.
As such, try to avoid making up for lost sleep with a lie-in.
Instead of sleeping in, spend your morning reading a book in bed or having a leisurely coffee in the kitchen.
Ensure that your bedroom, bedding, and sleepwear are fit for purpose too.
The ideal sleep environment is dark, quiet, and cool – much like a cave.
If you find unwelcome sources of light are keeping you up, consider investing in an eye mask or black-out curtains.
Adding soft furnishings can be a great way to reduce noise, with the surfaces having an absorptive quality, but if this doesn’t work, consider embracing a soothing soundtrack to block it out.
In terms of temperature, try to keep your bedroom at 18°C. You can further reduce the risk of waking up due to overheating by ensuring that all your bedding and sleepwear is made with natural, breathable materials such as cotton and linen.
Bear in mind that everyone is different; what might work for most, may not work for you!
Whilst knowing how much sleep you should get, how to overcome common barriers, and practicing good sleep hygiene can facilitate a great night’s sleep, if you continue to struggle with sleep or fatigue persistently, do not hesitate to visit a doctor or health professional for support.
Others were more supportive of the mum.
One person wrote: “I’d find this lazy and gross – couldn’t be with someone who was slugging about in bed all day.”
“Don’t do any of the jobs that only or mostly benefit him. Make sure your teens do their bit, too,” someone else said.
A third penned: “This would make me angry too OP [original poster]. You have to get up to feed pets because it sounds like he’d leave them to go hungry if left to him to do it.”
“Initially l thought if he’s on holiday from work, let him rest but actually op this would seriously p*** me off,” a fourth said.