All the American Celebrities at the Paris Olympics Ranked by How Random They Are
There’s one event at the Paris Olympics in which the Americans are sure to take home the gold, and that’s flooding the city with our celebrities. While the French may have their boats full of athletes and mysterious hooded torchbearer (which, while it’s tempting to believe this secret person is Isabelle Huppert, I’m putting my money on a personified Mona Lisa), we have the relentless presence of celebs across all industries: entertainment, sports, music, fashion, and the internet. In all fairness, this is the first Olympics in some time where their omnipresence makes sense: The COVID vibes were still off in Tokyo in 2021, Rio was always going awry, and it’s clear that none of the Palisades-based famos want to roll out for the winter Olympics, no matter how fun the ice dancing is. All week, American celebs have bopped around Paris, getting their photos taken besides other non-Americans celebs like Charlize Theron (South African), Rosalía (Spanish), and Baz Luhrmann (Australian). If the celeb haul in Paris is our best representation of American popular culture, here’s a list of who’s who (or qui est qui) at this year’s games, ranging from power player to benchwarmer.
Naomi Osaka
The tennis star is playing for Japan in her second Olympics ever. No one’s presence could be less random — she’s here to win!
LeBron James
James is the de facto leader of Team USA’s basketball squad this year, 20 years after he played on the national team as a 19-year-old rookie. Beyond his obvious athletic skill and that he’s there on purpose at the Olympics to win, he makes sense at just about every sports event on the planet. He is not simply an American celebrity; he might be one of the most famous people on the planet.
Tom Cruise Tom Cruise’s whole career has been shaped around the fact that he should be able to compete in the Olympics for most times fallen out of a plane.
Ashlyn Harris
Harris is playing for the U.S. women’s soccer team — her first time competing at the Olympics, sure, but in no way her first time coordinating outfits with …
Sophia Bush
Bush and Harris made headlines last fall for their surprise get-together after their respective separations. Since then, the two have been attached at the hip (PDA is not yet an Olympic event, I don’t think). Bush and Harris might be the highest-profile American Athlete-American Celeb (AAAC) couple at this year’s Olympics, which is to say: Expect a lot of shots of Bush during the U.S. women’s soccer games.
Serena Williams
Is going back to the Olympics as a retired athlete like going to your high-school reunion?
Zendaya
Playing a fake athlete in a film is basically the same as being a real athlete in the Olympics. For all we know, Tashi Duncan is going head to head against Naomi Osaka in a few days.
Lady Gaga
Gaga’s song-and-dance routine on the golden steps of the Seine, replete with pink feathers, red lipstick, and a fake mole, cements her place as one of America’s greatest exports who is capable of starring in both Joker: Folie à Deux and another country’s Olympics opening ceremonies. Merci, Nurtec!
Chrissy Tiegen and John Legend
Oh brother, what WON’T these two show up to?
Pharrell Williams
Williams currently works as the men’s creative director for Louis Vuitton, which hosted a “Prelude to the Olympics” event on Thursday night. Being the celeb who brings all the other celebs together is a necessary part of any type of international import/export work.
Emma Chamberlain
The YouTuber-turned-presenter-turned–”It” girl is America’s youngest random celeb at this year’s Olympics, undoubtedly in town in order to speak Gen Z to all of our athletes.
Snoop Dogg
Snoop isn’t just a random American celeb at this year’s Olympics. He was also a torch-bearer, running through the French suburbs on the torch’s journey to its final flame. Beyond that, the iconic rapper and presenter is a part of NBC’s commentating team, currently up in the stands with Hoda Kotb and Team Biles, Simone’s family. “Shout-out to the baby that keeps frowning at me,” he said of one of Biles’s youngest relations. He can keep showing up to whatever Olympics all he wants.
John Mulaney
Mulaney, like his fellow famo exports, popped up at the Louis Vuitton Prelude event, which was marginally surprising given his criticism of the forthcoming Los Angeles Olympics during his Everybody’s in LA comedy special.
Queen Latifah
Of course American royalty is at the Olympics!
Halle Berry
Berry had the honor of carrying the torch in Cannes over a month ago. It’s only fitting she gets to go to the games themselves! Presumably she’s been walking to Paris ever since.
Jeremy Allen White
Here’s where we get into the loosely random category of American celebrity. Sure, White plays a chef on TV … and France is known for its cuisine … but his presence can’t salvage The Bear’s third-season reviews.
Sydney Sweeney
Is Sweeney actually at the Olympics? She’s definitely in Paris doing #spon for Galaxy, which just goes to show that one of our greatest national exports is getting paid to do an Instagram post.
Salma Hayek
We could have used some of the energy that Hayek brought to Magic Mike’s Last Dance to the rain-soaked dance scenes of the opening ceremony.
Elizabeth Banks
Elizabeth Banks doesn’t have a new movie out, nor a new television show, nor does she have much connection to the world of international athletics … is she just a fan of the Olympics? Is she in Paris for unrelated reasons? Is she excited they added breakdancing?
Jessica Chastain
Chastain stars in Mothers’ Instinct with Anne Hathaway, a remake of a 2018 French movie of the same title. Presumably she’s in Paris to celebrate the U.S. release date of the film.
Ariana Grande
It might feel like the election season in America is long, but I promise you the Wicked promotional cycle is way longer.
The Minions
Illumination might be a French company, but still: No sovereign nation deserves the Minions, not even Bob.
Elon Musk
To quote Demi Lovato: “GET A JOB. STAY AWAY FROM HER.”
Christopher Meloni
Meloni is, by my count, the most random and perfect American celebrity to attend the Paris Olympics. He’s an NBC-affiliated television star, beloved for playing a police detective, and if that’s not the most American thing of all time, I don’t know what is.
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