I didn't start saving for retirement until my mid-30s and even that was too late. I probably won't ever be able to retire.

• I'm sober now, but I was an addict most of my 20s and didn't save money.
• I'm in my late 30s and I don't know if I'll be able to afford retirement.
• I'm teaching my son financial literacy so he can be better prepared than I was.

I recently celebrated my 39th birthday, and I've made tremendous strides in managing my personal finances. Still, I'm regularly preoccupied with the thoughts that it's not enough. Not only is it unlikely I'll ever be able to afford a house, but I most likely won't have enough money to retire.

Neither of my parents taught me about personal finance, so saving for retirement wasn't on my radar. What's worse is that although I'm 12 years sober, I wasted most of my 20s by being an addict.

I haven't lost hope, and I'm still doing what I can to save for retirement, but it's difficult to stay optimistic.

My parents didn't teach me financial literacy

My parents have never been good with money, so I didn't learn about the importance of saving or investing while growing up. Not only did I miss out on this privilege, coming from a Black family on my dad's side, I missed out on generational wealth.

The idea of saving or investing in my retirement was never a priority. I'll never forget my first company 401(k) meeting when I was about 19 years old. It was extremely confusing, and I couldn't care less. Being that young, it just seemed like something I didn't have to worry about for a few decades.

Within two years of that 401(k) meeting, I was a full-blown drug addict and alcoholic. This lasted throughout my 20s. During this time, I destroyed my credit and was in a lot of debt. I had some great jobs during those years, but I spent irresponsibly.

This was the prime time to build a foundation for my retirement, and I completely missed the opportunity. To put it in perspective, I'm an S&P 500 investor. Had I started investing when I was 20 years old in 2005, I would have seen the S&P 500 grow my investments by 371%.

I finally became financially stable, but it was too late

I got sober in 2012, but I started out with nothing. It wasn't until I received an inheritance in 2021 that I decided to teach myself about personal finance. I read as many books as I could about investing and opened up a Roth IRA. By this time, I was 36 years old.

When I started my current job in 2022, I opened up a 401(k). I opt to do the max, and I still invest in my Roth IRA. Between my Roth and 401(k), I'm putting $640 toward my retirement each month.

I'm pretty proud of myself for doing this, but then I snap back to reality and realize how far behind I am. In total, I have a little over $20,000 saved for my retirement. When I checked a retirement calculator, it said I should have about $2.3 million saved by the time I retire, but at this rate, I'll have less than a million.

The other massive issue is that I'll probably need much more than that because inflation keeps rising, but wages aren't. I'm a millennial, and it pains me to see how previous generations were in such a better economic situation. Even though I wasted my 20s, if this was 30 or 40 years ago, I could probably catch up. Now, I'm concerned that I'll be one of the 90-year-old cashiers I see who are clearly working because they have to in order to survive.

I was able to get sober, so I'm not the type of person to give up. I'm a workaholic, so I don't ever see myself "fully retiring." I'm sure as I get older, I'll have side hustles and entrepreneurial projects bringing in some extra income. I take some of those extra funds to add to my retirement and other investments. I'm also focused on looking for ways to increase my income at my current job through promotions and raises.

Even though it's rough for me, I've taken all of these lessons and am now passing them on to my son. He's 15, and I'm already teaching him the benefits of saving and investing. He knows that as soon as he starts working, it needs to be a priority to start saving for retirement. It may be rougher for him by the time he's an adult, but at least he'll have a head start.