Ozzy Osbourne Attempts to Apologize to Britney Spears, But Can't Stick the Landing

The 2024 Paris Olympics are in full swing, but even with all that athletic talent and ability currently on display, few events are as impressive as watching a baby boomer try and offer an apology. Seventy-five-year-old Ozzy Osbourne recently attempted the daring feat and, while he definitely didn't win a gold medal, it was clearly a strenuous effort. A couple of weeks ago, Ozzy and his family were discussing TikTok dance trends on their podcast, The Osbourne's Podcast, when he quickly pivoted the conversation to Britney Spears and her dancing videos on Instagram. “I’m fed up with seeing poor old Britney Spears [dancing],” he said. “Every fucking day. You know, it’s sad. Very, very sad.” (Kelly Osbourne, instead of showing her dad how to unfollow someone, simply said "I feel sorry for her.") The next day, Spears posted on Instagram that the Osbournes are the "most boring family known to mankind" and told them to "fuck off !!!" On Tuesday, Ozzy attempted to apologize to Spears for saying she was poor and old and sad. And even though I'd ultimately categorize it as a failed attempt, it was an attempt, nonetheless. “Britney, I really owe you an apology,” Ozzy said after Kelly asked her dad if they maybe owe Britney an apology. “I’m so sorry for making that comment. However, it would be better if you didn’t do the same f–king dance every day! Change a few movements.” He was so close! It was a very strong takeoff, but he ultimately fumbled the landing. Kelly, however, did a much better job: “Britney, never stop dancing. I love your dancing. It makes you happy and I’m so sorry if any of us offended you.” Sharon Osbourne began with "Listen, I like Britney a lot," before getting cut off by Ozzy, who wanted to reiterate, “I love Britney Spears. But it’s the same dance every day.” Jack Osbourne and Kelly then explained how it's not the same dance every day because sometimes, "there's knives."  Britney hasn't responded yet, but I hope her response is a brand-new knife dance. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's son, Pax, was rushed to the hospital after an electric bike crash in LA. But he's apparently OK. [Page Six] Tish and Noah Cyrus appear to have reunited after Tish allegedly stole and married Noah's boyfriend. [Daily Mail] Francine Pascal, the creator of the Sweet Valley High series, has died. She was 92. RIP<3 [New York Times] Bella Hadid released a statement over her controversial Adidas campaign. "I had no knowledge of the historical connection to the atrocious events in 1972…Had I been made aware, from the bottom of my heart, I would never have participated." [Pop Crave] Both Jimmy Kimmel and John Mulaney passed on hosting the Oscars. [The Hollywood Reporter] Swinging Mormon Tiktok is getting a docuseries! [Vulture] Selena Gomez was forced to shut down plastic surgery rumors once again. [People]