The Real Housewives of Dubai Recap: Fool Me Once
The eagerness of these women to seize on any opportunity for conflict, no matter how absurd, is making for fun television.
They say that this is the year of the “friendship breakup,” so it is really no surprise that as this season winds down, we continue to watch the Dubai Housewives’ relationships fall under strain. However, we have yet to see what split Lesa and Ayan apart for good. And I find myself getting frustrated and wondering if we are being primed for overblown theatrics.
Take the fallout from this voice memo, for example. Lesa angrily claims she can no longer trust Ayan because Ayan leaked the voice message to Stanbury, who then played everyone and forced Ayan into admitting that she shared a voice message. On its face, it would make sense that Lesa would be frustrated at Ayan breaking the best-friend code to get in the good graces of Stanbury, who spent the last season slandering her. But according to Ayan, Lesa already knew that Stanbury was aware of the voice note and that Stanbury was trying to get Ayan to bring it up at dinner, which Ayan wasn’t eager to do. If so, why did Lesa act so shocked and upset at Ayan on-camera? It seems that it would have been more prudent for both of them to focus their ire at Stanbury for coordinating the failed takedown. More importantly, as Taleen pointed out, why would Lesa go to Ayan to interpret a snippet of a conversation? I adore Ayan, but she is not a master of subtext and inferences. Of all the people Lesa should go to decipher that, Ayan would be low on the list unless you were expressly trying to get a conversation going.
It is made all the more peculiar when the whole voice note and conversation make it clear that Sara was always talking about disliking Taleen and simply parroting Lesa’s position on Brooks in the context of that fight. I don’t think Lesa is fully owning up to wanting to sow seeds of mess and it blowing back up in her face. It seems like she’s taking that out on Ayan for cozying up to Stanbury, whom she tolerates at best. If Ayan’s accounting of the story is accurate, I can understand why she was so worked up: She was embarrassed at being played by Lesa (who was acting clueless) and Stanbury (who insisted on having a moment at her expense). Somehow, Stanbury pulled the hairpin on the bomb and was mainly left unscathed. I would need space as well. That doesn’t justify Ayan crashing out and cursing out her best friend, but I wouldn’t want to be around the group if I were left to look like the fool by everyone in the room.
The fallout afterward also rings off to me. Lesa has a right to be hurt that Ayan screamed and cursed at her, but why did she call Ayan’s husband over it? I have been close with married couples, but calling a husband over a fight with my friend has never come to mind. Perhaps they are that close, but parts of it felt like a scheme that Todd had set up. Particularly, she mentioned that she has never been spoken to that way. Perhaps she meant by a close friend because I watched Lesa on College Hill: South Beach when it originally aired, and I can confidently say she is not unfamiliar with getting cussed out.
The duo ends up apologizing to each other and making up the following day, but not before Caroline Brooks takes time to revel in the friction between her castmates and convinces Lesa to drown her sorrows in a night out. This is where the show veers into slapstick comedy: The group is knocking back bottom-shelf moonshine, wincing after every shot, and bouncing around from bar to bar with a man who looks like he was told that he looked like Fabio once in the ’90s and never gave the schtick up. Next thing you know, Stanbury is dancing onstage, Lesa is squirming in cages, and Taleen and Brooks are rubbing up on each other like they didn’t curse each other out three days ago, while Sara and Saba look on in abject horror. Housewives, they’re just like us! They even make grave miscalculations like getting wasted the night before a daylong spiritual expedition.
No one is more reluctant to go on the spiritual road trip than Stanbury, who wakes up looking like what the dog dragged in. I empathize with her misery; she clearly forgot to take her Liquid I.V. the night before and is regretting it dearly. That said, she agreed to a day of filming, so at some point, you need to pop some Advil, throw on sunglasses, and be a team player. I understand why Sara was frustrated by Stanbury’s resistance. That said, she can’t help it if she needs to pull over and vomit, and Sara seemed to be upset by every hiccup on the road to the waterfall sanctuary.
The spiritual experience itself seemed lovely. I don’t know if I personally would be so gung ho to do all that walking to scream in a waterfall, but the women seem to enjoy themselves without too many issues. I find it interesting that Lesa is the only one who takes issue with praying to Buddhist statues — as practicing Muslims, Sara and Saba would similarly have issues with what is considered idolatry, but perhaps they view it as honoring local customs. Regardless, I can’t help but chuckle at the women making it a point to pose on the lotus sculpture and effuse over how transformative the experience was, only for Stanbury to spend the latter end of the voyage glued to her phone and Taleen to insist that the experience was not cathartic whatsoever. There is still more healing work to be done with this crew.
Something that I have come to appreciate about this cast is their commitment to absurd slights. Minor faux pas become protracted issues that get run into the ground in incoherent and hilarious ways. Calling someone a beggar? Let’s have a screaming match about it. Being hungover? Cause for deep eye rolling and whispers. Claim someone is untrustworthy? We are going to curse each other out. Nothing hammers this in more than the closing scene of this episode when Lesa decides to have a traditional Balinese night, paired with a rack full of classic Balinese garments for the women to try on. It is all an exercise in good fun and local tradition, with one issue: Stanbury, Brooks, and Taleen all find their selected outfits tacky and unflattering. In a ludicrous level of frustration, Brooks shouts, “I would never wear mustard yellow!” as if anyone assigning her this color should be tried at the Hague for high-fashion crimes. It is absurd in the best way. Everyone is familiar with not wanting to participate in an activity if it makes them uncomfortable, but most would simply grin and bear it to be polite. Not this gang of women, though. Screw etiquette, we are going to turn small slights into major showdowns. In a Bravo era where franchises have been getting bogged down in criminal and legal fiascos, this level of chicanery continues to be a welcome palate cleanser.
Golden Nuggets
• Sergio’s himbo antics are much more amusing when he is not on-camera as much. Stanbury FaceTiming him while hungover and going, “I can’t look at underwear selfies right now,” genuinely made me burst out laughing.
• Every week, I am going to document a newly ridiculous self-help aphorism that Sara whips out. This week, “I am trying to keep my vibrations high.” I can’t help but think of the viral clip of that wellness scammer talking about low-vibrational plates.
• It continues to touch me how Ayan finds various ways to make it clear that she has endured great strife to get to the life she has today. Revealing that she lost her best friend to AIDS took my breath away. For all of her antics, it is obvious that most of them are rooted in genuine pain from which she is still working to heal.