Army judge rules E-4 mafia has immunity for official acts
FORT CAVAZOS, Texas — Nobody in the Army knows if the so-called “E-4 mafia” actually exists. But if it does, an Army Judge Advocate colonel may be its first consigliere after declaring the group immune from prosecution.
The term “E-4 mafia” refers to what many believe to be an informal coalition of junior soldiers in the grade of E-4/Specialist who control activities without official authority, often to the irritation of higher ranks. Asked if such a mafia exists in his company, Capt. Justin Greaver of the 2nd Cavalry Division said, “Probably not, but my driver, Spc. Sanchez always tells me not to worry about it, and that’s good enough for me.”
Now, the Army may share the lack of concern. Col. Alina Habina, chief judge for the third judicial circuit, reviewed dozens of cases where E-4s received punishment for offenses such as manipulating duty rosters to avoid work, dispensing unauthorized legal counsel, advancing friends for lucrative assignments, or approving policies while officers binge-watch Emily in Paris. Habina said she could have spent that time prosecuting murders or assaults, but boosting E-4s fits in a personal agenda she calls “Specialists First!”
The review led to Habina’s revelation that the prosecuted E-4s “only cared about the integrity of unit missions,” their coveting of power, making their own rules, and avoiding accountability that helped mission accomplishment.
“By helping themselves, they helped the whole unit. I know, weird, huh?” she said. With that, Habina determined that the E-4 mafia deserves immunity for official acts. “This is in the well-established legal doctrine of ‘it’s not a crime if you had a good reason for doing it.”
Critics argue that it is not a well-established legal doctrine and that the ruling upends military tradition dating back to the American Revolution.
Habina disagreed. “General Washington needed troops who didn’t buy all that ‘put your country first’ drivel from mainstream media libs like Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Paine,” she said, “a ‘specialists first’ E-4 mafia could have fed the army at Valley Forge and negotiated a peace deal in one day.”
Military law experts and historians noted that Gen. Washington routinely ordered soldiers to be flogged for prioritizing their own interests.
Regardless, Habina emphasized that her ruling only applied when E-4s acted in an official capacity. “Yeah, that covers a lot,” she admitted, “maybe everything, but whatever.”
Habina defined unofficial conduct as actions that are clearly outside normal military authority, such as in foreign countries that the U.S. does not recognize, on the 366th day of a leap year, or in another physical dimension.
“Other than that,” she said, “what’s good for the E-4 mafia is good for the Army, so specialists first!”
If Staff Judge Advocates across the Army need help to interpret the difference between official and unofficial conduct, Habina recommends conferring with her paralegal, Spc. Rudolpho Gialini, who helped craft the ruling but definitely did not write the whole thing.
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