My wife wants to get pregnant with a stranger
DEAR DEIDRE: My girlfriend and I are desperate to have a baby, so she is considering having a fling with a stranger to get pregnant.
I’m 53 and know that I have very low fertility from when my ex-wife and I were trying to conceive.
My current girlfriend is 41 and still has periods.
Since we met four years ago, we’ve always known how much we wanted to start a family together.
Despite my chances being low, we’ve been trying for the last six months without any luck.
We can’t afford IVF treatment and a sperm donor but I suggested she should have sex with another man, just once.
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I said that the man would never know the truth and we could bring the child up as our own, and she was more than okay with the idea.
Now we’re considering setting up an online profile and looking for a match.
Do you think it’s wrong?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m afraid there are huge issues with this plan.
Not only will this man not have been screened for genetic problems as clinic donors are, but there is also always a risk to sexual health in having unprotected sex with a stranger.
You also have to consider the rights of the child if your plan did work. Wouldn’t it be unfair to conceal the truth about their biological parents?
Consider finding guidance through the Infertility Network (infertilitynetworkuk.org, 01424 732361).