I want to create a new identity to escape my family

DEAR DEIDRE: Am I wrong to want to create a new identity so that I never have to see my horrid family again? They are toxic.

My mother took her own life when I was a child of five. My father is part of a big criminal gang and is forever in and out of prison.

I’m a woman of 24. My older sisters looked after me when Dad was in police custody, or jail, or up to no good but they aren’t nice people. They are takers, just like my dad.

My older sister has a drink issue and my middle sister has boyfriends who abuse her.

When we argue over anything, they say, “You’re just like Dad. Stubborn and selfish.”

But I feel I’m anything but selfish. They get cross when I won’t look after their kids but my nieces and nephews misbehave.

I want to run away and find new friends with people who know nothing about me or my notorious family.

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s a big step to cut yourself off from your family.

Despite your differences, your sisters have been there for you when you’ve needed care.

Perhaps, it’s worth developing your own life and interests, moving somewhere new where you can set up clear boundaries and manage more limited contact with them.

It’s a big step but if you still feel they bring you down, then you can slowly cut down contact and become more of your own person.

You can find further help through Stand Alone (www.standalone.org.uk), which helps people of all ages that become estranged or disowned from their family or key family members.