J. K. Simmons reflects on his prosthetic Saturday Night penis

[This article contains mild spoilers for the part of Saturday Night that has a prosthetic penis in it.]

Because we're children—and not the mature, wise kind of child, who can take in this sort of information with a sober expression and a tiny, resigned nod—there are few things on a movie set we find more amusing than a prosthetic genital. Especially if some intrepid journalist can get the actor attached to said apparatus—say, veteran performer and Saturday Night co-star J.K. Simmons—to talk about their artificial equipment in a frank and amusing way. Hence our delight at an interview Variety conducted this week with Simmons, who appears in Jason Reitman's showbiz drama as legendary comic/asshole/chronic penis displayer Milton Berle, and who seemed very game to talk about an interaction in the movie between Berle and Cory Michael Smith's Chevy Chase that was clearly willing to go the distance to make an impact.

Amusingly, Simmons made it clear that he didn't know, going in, that the scene—which occurs as a form of pissing contest between the two generations of comics—was going to involve, uh, prop work. "I didn’t know about it until I got to Atlanta for my few days [shoot],” Simmons says in the interview. “I just assumed the camera was going to be belt-high and everything else left to the imagination. And obviously, you know, it’s not. We’re not looking for an X-rating, but I didn’t even think there would be a prosthetic involved. When Jason first said something about, ‘You need to go fit that,’ I was like, ‘Ha!’ Plain joke. And then the prop guy brought it in its box, like it was a violin, you know, velvet-lined case.” (Let us all take a moment, please, and reflect on J.K. Simmons' face in that perfect and silent moment.)

Smith, meanwhile, said he'd never heard the many, many stories about Berle exposing himself to people before getting involved in Reitman's film, which chronicles the 90 minutes leading up to the first airing of Saturday Night Live. "It’s actually amazing how many stories have been told to me already since the movie’s been out from people who have either firsthand or secondhand heard other stories," he noted. Speaking of memorable anecdotes: "J.K. had a full silicone, um, ‘apparatus’ attached to him that he had to, you know, authentically pull out each take. It went very well, except for one take when it fully fell out and slapped the floor… when, by the way, the cameras were on my face.”

Smith goes on to note Reitman told him there are only two instances of CGI in the entire film. "One was to change the time on some of the clocks in the background because test audiences were hyper aware of inaccuracies on the clocks." Fair enough! "And the second was to match the color of [Simmons'] prosthetic to his skin color.” Delightful.