Devastating: The Out-Of-State Tap Water You Filled Your Water Bottle With While Traveling Is Different From Your Tap Water At Home In A Way That’s Distracting With Every Sip

Well, it’s safe to call today a wash, because you’ve got a quietly devastating predicament looming over you that simply can’t be forgotten: The out-of-state tap water you filled your water bottle with while traveling is different from your tap water at home in a way that’s distracting with every sip.

Enjoy that bottle full of disappointment you got there. Ugh…how many days are left on this trip again?

This is what you get for trying to do the right thing for your budget and the environment: a stainless steel canteen filled with 25 ounces of tap water that’s just…not the same. Because you’ve grown so accustomed to your home state’s tap water, each taste of this other state’s faucet bullshit triggers a little Pavlovian response in your tastebuds that causes you to fixate on how this water is not the water you’re used to. Honestly, it’d be preferable if this state’s tap water were dangerous to drink, like it is in foreign countries, where you’d straight up have to avoid it so you wouldn’t get diarrhea or a tapeworm. But it’s not. It’s just non-thirst-quenching mid-water that’s different from your home water in a way you can’t help but note every time it hits your tongue.

Each sip of this out-of-state water requires a small-but-tangible degree of willpower to get through, knowing it’s only going to coat your mouth with a taste your brain can’t stop comparing to your home’s tap water. In fact, a part of you has been distracted by it throughout your entire travel itinerary so far. Here you are, trying to explore a new city with a group of old friends you only get to see every so often, finding half your attention fixed on the unforgettable views, and the other half thinking, “Locals really drink this crap? It’s like…stale. I don’t even want to get used to this tap water.”

If this is the price you have to pay to stay hydrated, it’s just not worth it. It just isn’t.

Fuck it, you’re buying ten convenience store bottles of Poland Spring the next time you get a chance. You tried. Sorry, ecosystem. God, it’s going to feel so good to scrub away the taste of this out-of-state tap water from your water bottle once you’re back home. This stuff is absolutely disgusting.