I become anxious thinking about sex with my girlfriend after not getting erection the first time

DEAR DEIDRE: THE first time I had sex with my girlfriend I wanted it to be really special and a night to remember – but I couldn’t get an erection.

I am 24 and my girlfriend is 23. We met through a mutual friend and quickly began a relationship.

She is an amazing woman and I soon developed feelings for her.

She is pretty, sexy and fun to be around.

She stayed over at my flat last weekend.

We cooked a stir fry and had a couple of beers and everything was going brilliantly.

We kissed and cuddled and had our hands all over each other, but when it was time to have sex, my body went tense and my erection failed.

I was so upset and embarrassed. My girlfriend tried to reassure me that it was no big deal but I am scared this will happen the next time we try.

I become anxious just thinking about it.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend means a lot to you and you were anxious to please her the first time you had sex.

Anxiety blocks full sexual responsiveness and the memory of it not going well can set up a cycle of fear and failure.

My support pack Solving Erection Problems explains more and will help you resolve this.

Give it a couple of weeks and you will probably find that your worries are gone.

In the meantime, focus on giving each other pleasure without intercourse.