The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Oct. 19-25)
Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humour lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
Sometimes for fun at my daughter’s hockey I yell “GO OLIVIA!!” and like 7 or 8 different girls smile and skate their little hearts out.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) October 20, 2024
My teen daughter just asked to approve her plans for a date (on a Thursday night):
— MrsRuvi (@MrsRuvi) October 24, 2024
-4pm dinner at Bob Evans
-Antiquing after
-park for pickleball
-home by 9.
My daughter seems to be 70 years old.
The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 21, 2024
I asked my daughter why I was having to repeat myself so much and she said “you don’t have to, you just want to” https://t.co/IOuugOKabV
— mesyliah (@mesyliah) October 23, 2024
TikTok momfluencers be like, "here's how I handcuff my children to me in the grocery store parking lot to prevent them being SNATCHED!! Can't be too careful with these precious angels, here are their unobscured faces and full names and birthdays and a street view of our house"
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) October 24, 2024
just told my 11y/o that I was certain about something ‘to a reasonable margin of error’ and she said ‘shut up nerd’ and my wife dropped her bowl from laughing so hard
— Daniel Gorman (@DanielGorman20) October 19, 2024
When you’re exhausted but stay awake anyway so you don’t miss out on quality alone time
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 24, 2024
5-year-old asked if Santa can see her when she's naked. I said no of course not because obviously I want her to feel safe and secure, but now I'm getting the sense that she was looking for a loophole and will be nakedly breaking rules in the near future.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 24, 2024
When you're a mom of multiple children, you get to say things like, "We can't visit the Grand Canyon because I'm afraid you'll throw your brother over."
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 22, 2024
My kid said her favourite part of our Disneyland trip was counting how many doll butts she could see on ‘it’s a small world’ so money well spent I’d say
— Lottie-pop ???? (@Lottie_Poppie) October 19, 2024
pregnancy and childbirth is fun because your whole life you hear that you don’t get your period for nine months, but nobody tells you that after baby is born, you get 6-8 weeks straight of Period to make up for it
— ???? madeline boOoOoOodent ???? (@oldenoughtosay) October 21, 2024
Date night is paying someone $120 to have fun with your kids so you can argue with your spouse in peace.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) October 23, 2024
i’ve been telling my 2 year old to leave something alone for 30 minutes so finally i asked if he wanted to get in trouble and he said yes.
— thicc ass miniature pony (@_YamSmalls_) October 22, 2024
It’s like the HOA doesn’t even understand that these are Halloween weeds
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 20, 2024
a nightmare where you have to wake up for school, do homework and go to after school activities all over again but its real because you’re a parent
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 23, 2024
as a parent of 3 boys my only fantasy is to be able to run my hand across the kitchen counter and not get into something sticky, crumby, gooey or chocolatey.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 25, 2024
https://t.co/eNPCr1lAZKpic.twitter.com/BqV4kWkEn9
— Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting (@themultiplemom) October 24, 2024
I used to sneak around at night so my parents wouldn’t hear me, now I sneak around at night so my kids won’t hear me.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) October 24, 2024