My husband’s affair was devastating, but my daughter won’t forgive him even though we are stronger than ever

DEAR DEIDRE: My husband’s affair was devastating, but we have both worked hard to fix our marriage and I feel we are stronger than ever.

Looking back I was spending all my free time with my elderly parents and neglected my marriage.

The only problem is that while our son has also forgiven him, my daughter won’t.

She is making things really difficult and has moved into her boyfriend’s house – she’s only 19.

I’m 55, my husband is 56 and our son is 21.

When I discovered the affair one year ago, I admit I was so upset and didn’t know how to function.

I couldn’t get out of bed, was hardly eating and didn’t even go into work for a few days.

It was my daughter who looked after me, bringing me cups of tea and snuggling up with me to watch old movies together.

Now she can’t understand how I could let him back into my life.

How can I get through to her?

While I’m so pleased we are working things through, I don’t want to do it at the expense of my family.

She refused to come away for a summer holiday with us and only comes home when she knows my husband is out.

I’m really missing my daughter.

DEIDRE SAYS: Some people see life very simply – in black or white.

Your daughter saw you at your lowest and no doubt feels very protective of you.

Reassure her that you and her dad have been honest with each other about your marriage and are working hard to rebuild your relationship.

Explain to her that even as your child, she wasn’t party to the intimate problems on both sides of your relationship.

Let her know how much you appreciate her support when you were at your lowest, but explain that now you need her to move forward as you have.

Your daughter may also feel her dad has betrayed her by having an affair.

Explain your husband’s affair was between you as a couple and was never about his love for his children.

For more support contact familylives.org.uk.