My ex saw me as a ‘downgrade’ from his ‘clever exes’ so I went to Harvard, I’m beautiful & brainy
KATE Black, 30, is a logistics area manager and lives in Coventry.
“Watch Me Shine by Joanna Pacitti is my ultimate girl-power anthem.
The minute I heard it in Legally Blonde, where Reese Witherspoon’s Elle Woods is dumped by a guy who thinks she’s stupid, I loved it.
It was the perfect tune to play as I prepared to graduate from Harvard University.
Like Elle, my ex had underestimated me.
I met Adam* on a dating website in 2013 when I was 19 and he was 30.
He’d been to university and ran his own business.
I was instantly attracted to this confident, adventurous guy.
Adam liked how I looked then – with my blonde hair and size-6 figure.
But even though I was at uni studying business and economics, he’d often belittle my intelligence.
If I said a silly comment, he’d quote it on Facebook.
His friends wrote: ‘Intellect doesn’t matter. She looks good,’ and he’d never called them out.
He clearly saw me as a downgrade from his clever exes and believed I was all beauty and no brains.
When I was 21, I realised I wanted to leave my course as I wasn’t enjoying it, but Adam’s judgement made me feel terrible.
He made it clear that he saw it as a failure.
It was around then that I dyed my hair brunette and switched to a law degree at another university.
But soon I was failing my second year, my self-esteem dropped and I started to believe I really was stupid.
Lost and needing a change, I spent the summer of 2017 working at Camp America.
I had never been dumped before and the break-up hit me very hard
Kate Black
I’d always dreamed of visiting the US, and I used my spare time there to travel.
One of my must-sees was Harvard University.
Ever since I’d seen Legally Blonde at 10 years old, I’d wanted to visit the famous university where Elle studied.
Walking through the campus, I felt a rush of excitement.
I realised I wanted to study there more than anything.
Back home, Adam treated the idea as ridiculous.
Then he told me our relationship was over.
He said I wasn’t smart enough for him and that he needed someone he could talk to about astrophysics.
I had never been dumped before and the break-up hit me very hard.
I’d loved Adam for four years and really thought we had a future together.
Suddenly, that was all gone.
But after just 48 hours of eating ice cream and crying, I decided I was going to prove him wrong.
I was determined to get into Harvard and show him exactly how clever I really was.
In 2018, I got a place at the university’s summer school and spent seven incredible weeks studying there.
With the credits that gave me, and those from the years I’d done at two UK universities, I knew I had a shot at getting in.
Although American university fees are much more expensive than in the UK, I was able to get some financial assistance from Harvard
Kate Black
After applying to study international relations in December 2019, I had an agonising wait.
When I saw the message the following March saying that I had been accepted, I was so shocked and happy, I couldn’t speak.
Although American university fees are much more expensive than in the UK, I was able to get some financial assistance from Harvard.
Still, my fees and living costs came to around £37,000 in total, which I paid for with credit cards as well as by working.
Sadly, the pandemic meant that the first two years of study were done at home.
But in September 2022, I flew out to Boston to take my final year on campus. It was incredible.
I had to pinch myself that it was real. I had actually done it and proved all the doubters wrong
Kate Black
In May 2023, in my cap and gown, I listened to Tom Hanks give a speech as I graduated.
I had to pinch myself that it was real.
I had actually done it and proved all the doubters wrong.
I moved back home and bagged a job as a logistics area manager for Amazon that gives me management experience.
I have also set up my own sustainable swimwear brand.
In my spare time, I’m studying computer science and artificial intelligence online with the University of York and plan to do a Master’s of Business Administration.
I’m grateful now that my relationship broke down, because it led me somewhere incredible.
Just like Elle Woods, my break-up pushed me to follow my dreams.
What’s more, I’ve now been with my new partner since 2021, and he realises that it is possible to be smart and beautiful.”
- Visit Larushswim.com.