My sister wants to cut & dye my wedding dress & wear it for hers – now I’m refusing to go, but our parents support her
A WOMAN has revealed how she is refusing to attend her sister’s wedding as her sibling wants to “repurpose” her own wedding gown.
The upset woman, 28, explained how she got married last year and saved up for years to buy her “dream” wedding dress.
Taking to Reddit, she explained: “It’s this beautiful lace, A-line gown with intricate beadwork and a long train. I felt like a princess and still get emotional just thinking about it.”
Now her sister, 26, is engaged and her wedding is coming up in six months time – and she has her sights on the dream dress.
The Reddit user continued: “She recently came over to our place to chat about wedding plans.
“At one point, she casually mentioned that she’d love to ‘borrow’ my dress.
“She thinks it would be ‘cute’ to ‘repurpose’ it, maybe by shortening the skirt or even dyeing it a different colour so it’s ‘unique to her.’
“I was taken aback. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her altering my dress, especially since it has a lot of sentimental value to me.
“She got upset and said I was being selfish because she wanted to save money on her wedding, and ‘family should support each other.”
When the elder sister held her ground, she was accused of “not caring” about her sister’s day, and the bride-to-be stormed out.
Then the parents got involved and accused the woman of “breaking her [the younger sister’s] heart”.
She continued: “They said that since I’m married and ‘done with the dress,’ it shouldn’t be a big deal.
“But it is a big deal to me.
“I want to keep my dress as it is.
“They suggested I just ‘let her have her way’ to avoid family drama, but honestly, I feel like it’s my dress and my decision.”
The situation got even worse when the sister declared that she now doesn’t feel comfortable with her attending the wedding at all, unless she “shows support” by giving her the dress.
The upset woman added: “I don’t want to miss her wedding, but I also don’t want to give in to something I’m not comfortable with.”
How to pick the perfect wedding dress
Wedding season is in full swing, but when it comes to picking your perfect dress, most new brides-to-be probably feel a bit clueless.
As someone who’s tying the knot in August 2024, Josie Griffiths, deputy digital Fabulous editor and bride-to-be, has shared her top tips…
- Give yourself time – unless you’re a sample size, dresses can take months to even arrive. Don’t stress yourself out by looking too late, in my opinion dress shopping should be the second thing on your list, right after finding a venue.
- Visit multiple shops – you don’t want to be buying on your first visit.
- But not too many – like a f***boy who can’t stop swiping on Tinder, having too much choice isn’t going to help you find The One.
- Take people with you – women who will be honest but also hype you up, unlike the mean relatives on Say Yes To The Dress, and ideally people from different areas of your life who won’t automatically say the same thing. I shopped with my mum and two best friends, who didn’t know each other and had different styles.
- Think it over – I returned to the shop before making my final decision on the dress I chose, re-trying it with my second favourite to make sure I was certain. It’s an expensive purchase, and you can’t send it back like you might your next Asos order, so take time to mull it over.
She then asked Reddit users for their opinion on whether she was being mean by refusing to let her “repurpose” the wedding dress and considering not attending the wedding.
Many people were on her side and supported her decision.
One wrote: “It’s your dress, and your sister is being unreasonable.”
A second added: “What if you have a daughter and want to pass it to her? Unaltered. So entitled.”
A third commented: “You don’t just get to decide to claim somebody else’s sentimental property. Let alone decide to hack it up and change colours. I would refuse to go under any circumstances.”