Top 10 Reasons to Embrace the Election Results

Fahrenheit 451, directed by Francois Truffault with cinematography by Nicola Roeg, 1966, screeshot

1.) Dormant sales of pussy hats will rebound.

2.) Mar-a-Lago will be underwater when Baron is appointed president-for-life.

3.) Parents won’t have to consider their children’s vaccine schedules.

4.) Liz and Dick Cheney.

5.) People will discover the joys of meat packing, fruit picking, and hanging drywall.

6.) Many men look good in black or brown shirts.

7.) Business will boom for dentists and denture manufactures.

8.) Women won’t need to take self-defense courses.

9.) Crowding in federal prisons will be reduced.

10.) Fuel costs will fall as libraries are converted to power plants.

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