My life has been falling apart since I discovered what my cousin did to my daughter

DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE I discovered that my cousin abused my youngest daughter, my life has been falling apart.

His trial is coming up, and I hope justice is served, but every time I look at her I feel guilty because I was meant to protect her. 

I’m 45 and have four children with my ex-wife. My youngest daughter is 10.

She told her mum that he has been interfering with her for the past three years. 

I’m so angry with him, and with myself, for ever letting her be alone with him. But I trusted him to babysit because he was family.

My ex and I went straight to the police and reported him, and they took us seriously.

But I worry so much how this has affected our daughter, and what it will mean for her future. 

She can’t talk about what happened with me, only with her mum, but it’s clear she’s not the happy little girl she used to be.

I feel I should have known and stopped him. 

I can’t sleep and I drink too much to ease the pain. 

Sometimes, it makes me feel so hopeless that I think about ending my life. 

DEIDRE SAYS: This is not your fault. You are a loving dad.

Please get help. There is a lot of support available. 

Tell your doctor how you are feeling and about your drinking and suicidal feelings. You should be able to get counselling and/or medication. 

Ending your life won’t help your daughter. She needs you.

For information and guidance about how best to help your daughter, talk in confidence to the NSPCC (nspcc.org.uk, tel: 0808 800 5000). 

You can also contact Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, tel: 0808 800 2222).