My partner has taken a step back since he lost his best friend in a car crash

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner’s best mate was killed in a car accident. My partner was in the car too and he survived but I’ve hardly heard from him since.

I am female and 49. The man I was planning to move in with is 53. We met online and we’ve been exclusive for over a year.

We’ve never been able to see a lot of each other because he lives 100 miles from me and doesn’t drive. I’m a single man. He’s a divorcee.

When the crash happened, it was a head-on collision when he was travelling to a conference with his boss, his best friend, and another man was driving.

His own father had died just a few months before. Now he has gone quiet on me.

He has admitted that he is depressed and he says he’s not sleeping.

He’s admitted to getting flashbacks about waking up in hospital and being told the news.

It’s been four months and he hasn’t returned to work as yet. He’s walking on crutches.

He says he still wants a future with me but needs time. I love him and I want to get our relationship back on track.

DEIDRE SAYS: He’s in shock with post-traumatic stress and bereaved. These events are life-changing and losing somebody under such terrible circumstances will be taking its toll.

Don’t give up on him. If you can plan a trip to see him, it will give you a better idea of how this has impacted him and whether there is still room for you in his life.

Listen to him and encourage him to find some professional support.

Give yourself a time limit to see whether he is able to re-invest in your relationship but don’t wait indefinitely.

He can find support through Assist Trauma Care – which helps with PTSD (assisttraumacare.org.uk, 01788 551919).  They support adults and children, individuals and families, affected by a wide range of traumatic occurrences.