Harriette Cole: I don’t know if I can put up with a boss like this
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss is unreasonably strict, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to cope.
Every day feels like walking on eggshells, and I’m constantly on edge around him. He sets unrealistic standards and is quick to criticize even the smallest mistakes I make.
Although the stress is overwhelming, I’m determined to stay in the job for the stability it provides my family. However, I’m worried that this constant pressure is beginning to take a toll on my mental and physical well-being. I find myself questioning how much longer I can endure this before it negatively impacts my health.
Should I try to adapt and push through, or is it time to consider looking for a more supportive work environment?
— Under Pressure
DEAR UNDER PRESSURE: Drum up the courage to speak to your boss. Plan it in advance so that you feel clear in your points.
As you think it through, assess what you are good at. Where do you fall short? What can you offer to your boss in terms of improving your job performance? In those answers, you may want to point out that you are striving to do a better job at work and that when he constantly criticizes you, it can be difficult for you to perform optimally.
Tell him that you want to do a good job and improve in the areas he has pointed out, but you need positive support and guidance from him. Right now, it is hard for you to work on improving when all you seem to get from him is disappointment and judgment.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom and dad were happy celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary. Everything seemed perfect until a few days later, when my dad became distant and cold toward my mom.
She started noticing the changes in his behavior, and then she found out the truth: My father has been cheating on her and hiding a baby that resulted from his affair.
My mom is heartbroken, and our whole family is shaken by the betrayal. The love and trust they built over the years are shattered now.
I don’t know how to handle seeing my parents in such pain. I feel torn between supporting my mom and trying to fix things for my dad. I need to decide whether to stand by my mom and help her heal or try to get my dad to make things right.
— Heartbreaking Truth
DEAR HEARTBREAKING TRUTH: You can love both of your parents as you live through this awkward and heartbreaking situation. Do your best not to pick sides.
Your father’s actions have certainly damaged the family. Sadly, because there is a baby involved, the impact on your family dynamics will last a lifetime.
That does not mean that your parents cannot repair their relationship if they choose to do so.
Your family is in the early stages of dealing with a huge challenge. Try to be there to console your mother and listen to your father. If they do talk to you, don’t badmouth anyone. Just offer love.
It will be difficult, and all you can do is your best. Remember, though, that this is not your problem to fix.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.