Moana 2 review: This disjointed sequel lacks idea and fails to live up to the hype of magical original
MOANA 2
(PG), 100mins
★★☆☆☆
THE predecessor was one of the greatest cartoon films in Disney history.
With catchy songs and a refreshingly original storyline about a powerful young Polynesian girl that didn’t involve a sniff of romance, 2016’s Moana was unchartered territory for Disney animation.
Eight long years have passed since the teen idol was on the big screen.
So is it worth the wait? Well, frankly, no.
And while this film is visually perfect and entertaining-ish, it doesn’t touch the genius of the first.
We meet our heroine as she takes trips to other islands to find signs of life.
Three years have passed in Moana’s world and she is now a young woman who knows who she is.
Lost the plot
She is embraced by her community as a future leader and adventurer, and has plenty of superfans amongst her peers.
Moana (voiced by Auli’i Cravalho) soon hears of an island called Motofetu — the meeting place for people across the ocean.
But Motofetu is cursed by an angry God and she needs the help of tattooed demigod Maui (Dwayne Johnson).
Soon, the pair, along with a motley crew — including boat designer Loto (voiced by Rose Matafeo), an unloveable old farmer and her chubby pig and boss-eyed chicken — are whizzing through the sea at, often, stomach-churning speed.
At points I had to shut my eyes as I felt a little motion sick.
Ironically, while most of the film takes place on the water, the plot never really flows.
It’s almost like a TV series version of Moana, with several locations, characters and disasters that never come together.
The demigod of lightning, Nalo, is never seen or understood — and it’s not explained why he has cursed the land.
A fun scene with a colony of angry coconuts is very entertaining, but after a while becomes a little too much of a dream sequence for my liking.
There’s plenty of jeopardy, but none of it is scary or has much consequence.
And all of the storylines seem short on, well, an idea.
The songs, written by TikTok sensations Abigail Barlow and Emily Bear, are fun enough, but certainly not as catchy as Lin-Manuel Miranda’s genius songs in the first film.
Sadly, this Moana just feels lost at sea.
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CONCLAVE
(12A), 120mins
★★★★☆
WATCHING a film with immaculate acting and a sturdy script can be a bit like easing into a warm bath.
It can be so relaxing, knowing you’re going to be thoroughly entertained by people at the top of their game.
In this, they include Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, Sergio Castellitto and Isabella Rossellini.
Adapted by Peter Straughan (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy), it is filled with thrills and suspense around a vote for the next Pope.
Cardinal Lawrence (Fiennes) runs one of the world’s most secretive and ancient events at the Vatican, after the current Pontiff dies suddenly.
There’s many who are up for the role, including the liberal, forward-thinking Cardinal Bellini (Tucci) and the possible “first black Pope” Cardinal Adeyemi (Lucian Msamati).
Egos are big and during the selection, there’s plenty of dirty play going on behind the scenes.
Some that could shake the reputation of the already very chaotic Catholic Church.
The colour palette is sublime and every performance deliciously decadent, with a clever twist.
The story is thin enough for you not to think about it soon after walking out of the cinema, but while you’re in there it’s a fine experience.
THE CONTESTANT
(12A), 90mins
★★★★☆
EVER felt sorry for the fame-hungry stars of Love Island, Big Brother or I’m A Celebrity?
Well, that feeling will be banished forever after watching documentary The Contestant, which retells the harrowing true story of one of the world’s first reality TV shows.
It takes place in Japan, in 1998, where aspiring comedian Nasubi is tricked into living in a small flat, with no belongings, to survive on his magazine competition winnings alone.
The humiliating experience sees him eat dog food to stave off starvation and nearly descend into madness as he struggles without human contact.
To make matters worse, he’s also naked after being tricked into believing by A Life In Prizes’ head producer that the footage is for a TV pilot and will “never be aired”.
In reality, it has become one of the most popular TV shows in Japan.
More than 30million tune into the weekly episode to see Nasubi’s struggles… and nude dancing, with only an aubergine emoji super-imposed over his genitals.
He will be freed after earning prizes worth one million yen… or so he believes.
Nasubi’s battle is complicated by the highly manipulative producer, who proudly boasts: “I’m not a god… I am the devil.”
Josh Saunders