I think my dad has a secret family he’s been hiding for decades – but we’re not going to tell our mum until after Xmas
A DAUGHTER has been left torn about raising suspicions that her dad is a bigamist and fathered a secret family.
She said her sister, 18, is determined not to discuss the situation with their parents until after Christmas.
They became concerned that her dad could be cheating on their mum after spotting a Facebook profile with the same last name.
The 16-year-old said they initially thought it could belong to a relative on her dad’s side of the family but they weren’t sure because they don’t know many of them.
However, they noticed that “something was strange” when they began to take a closer look at the messages and photos on the account.
“In one post, someone called him ‘dad,’ and that’s when we realized there were at least three people who seemed to be his children,” she said, writing on Reddit.
“My dad is an engineer at a salt mine, and he is usually away from home for 14 to 15 days.
“Sometimes, if the work is very intense, we don’t see him for up to a month.
“According to the posts we found, these people, who we believe are his children, live four hours away from us. That means when my dad is at the mine, he’s two hours from our house and two hours from theirs.
“From what we saw, it seems like my dad is still with this person because not long ago they were celebrating their 30th anniversary.
“We wonder if she’s his ex-wife, but if that’s the case, why don’t we know our half-siblings? Why are they celebrating their marriage?
“I know it’s a bit clear what’s going on, but I still haven’t fully processed it.”
She said her mum has never mentioned that her dad has children with another woman.
“I want to tell my mum, but my sister says we already have our pyjamas and everything ready for Christmas,” she continued.
“She insists that we wait until after the holidays to tell her because it would be strange to do it now.
“Apart from my sister, we have two other brothers, and only the oldest knows.”
Several shocked responses to the post advised the teenager to contact the woman they believe is in a relationship with her dad.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
Meanwhile, one person described the situation as “disturbing” and said she should speak to her father first.
Another agreed, saying “Go straight to the person that knows for sure what’s happening.”
A third response to the post urged the teenager to consider how her actions would affect her younger siblings.
“This is a tough position to be in,” they wrote. “You guys do what you think is best. If you think it’s going to ruin the holidays for your siblings, I feel like I would wait, as well.
“As hard as it will be to wait, it might be the best thing. But if you have a family member or counsellor or someone else to take this information to and get their advice, then do that.
“You shouldn’t have to keep this information to just yourselves when it’s something this big. I hate that this is happening to you all.
“Hang in there and try to look on the bright side of things. It’s the best we can do in every tough situation.
“You may be gaining more siblings that you never knew you needed, much less never knew you had.
“I feel like it’s surreal and it’s not happening to me. I can only imagine how you feel.”