I’m terrified of failing but can’t motivate myself to study

DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though I’m terrified of failing, I can’t motivate myself. I’m so lazy, I’ll do anything to avoid studying.

I think it’s because I used to be bullied in the past. Now I believe I’m as useless as people said I was, so what’s the point in trying.

I’m 25 and studying to be a plumber. 

But even though I really want to do well and have a successful future career, I find it such a struggle to study on my own at home.

I sit staring at my notes, and mess around on social media or watch TV instead. Hours go by and I’ve done nothing.

I’ve got exams coming up and I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail them all if I can’t get myself into gear soon.

Part of me wants to show all the teachers and ex classmates who put me down, called me stupid and laughed at me, that I can be successful.

However, another part of me fears they were right and I’m a pathetic waste of space.

This is getting me down so much. I think I need help.

DEIDRE SAYS: You are not lazy, useless or a failure. You lack self-belief and self-confidence, unsurprisingly given your history of being bullied and put down.

Sometimes, it feels easier and more comfortable to self-sabotage than to make an effort and still fear failure.

Reading my support pack on Building Self-Esteem should help you find ways to gain more confidence and self-belief.

Ask your course tutor for support and guidance with studying, and if your workload feels daunting, break it up into smaller sections.  

Make sure you plan lots of breaks and treats, so the work doesn’t seem overwhelming.