Fergodsakes, Democrats, Stop Trying To 'Unite The Country'

“This maybe the year when we finally come face to face with ourselves; finally just lay back and say it—that we are really just a nation of 220 million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns, and no qualms at all about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.”

― Hunter S. Thompson, The Great Shark Hunt: Strange Tales from a Strange Time

Remember how, after the Nazis used tanks, bombers and submarines in their war of global conquest, the Allies decided not to use tanks or bombers or submarines or any of that stuff because using the weapons of the enemy to defeat the enemy was, y'know, rude and uncivilized?

Yeah.

Me neither.

Remember how, after Eisenhower and friends stomped the shit out of the Nazis, and Naziism was outlawed in Germany and we put the judges who enabled the Nazis on trial and we rewrote the German constitution to put unions on an equal footing with management, Americans were so appalled at his behavior that they sent Eisenhower packing the minute he retired from the military?

Yeah.

Me neither.

So here's my one suggestion for Democrats running for office, past present and future.

Ready?

For fuck's sake stop promising to "unite" the country.

Not only is this is completely impossible, but you look like an idiot when you try because it gives other people -- people who hate you and want to destroy you -- the power force you to fail.

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