Robert Pattinson Unleashes New Ungodly Creation
By day, Robert Pattinson is a professional actor and liar, but by night, he pursues an unquenchable passion for inventing. He has so many ideas: a huge, impractical sofa; a microwavable pasta-cornflake pillow that nearly blew up his house. Like Dr. Frankenstein with really good cheekbones, he dreams up horror after horror, and a New York Times reporter recently paid him a visit, meaning it was time for him to unveil a new unholy creation. This time, it was a small-scale model of a chair he wants to build, made of a Fleshlight and a toilet-paper roll. Please, no one tell Herman Miller.
During the interview, Pattinson talked about some of his ongoing projects, like the sofa (he believes it’s hard to sell because it “weighs a ton”) and a design for pants with vertical pockets. But the thing he is really jazzed about is a straight-back chair with a slit in the cushion that, per his description, “opens up for you like you’re in a kind of cocoon.” I guess the reporter was, understandably, struggling to understand the concept, so Pattinson grabbed whatever was handy (?) to do an impromptu demo: an empty toilet-paper roll (normal) and … a Fleshlight.
Putting aside why the Fleshlight was just lying around, this is the chair of my nightmares. Then again, Pattinson has a famous habit of trolling reporters, so maybe he doesn’t intend to make a Fleshlight chair at all. I hope we will all be spared.
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