I hid secret shopping sprees & £70k of clothes from husband, I even got kids to lie for me…but I won’t stop spending
UNPACKING her car, Janet Charlton loads her daughter, Chelsea, with five shopping bags, all bulging with designer clothes, shoes and beauty products.
Grabbing just one small carrier herself, Janet, 66, heads into the house she shares with her builder husband and Chelsea’s dad, Stewart, 68, in Milton Keynes, Bucks.
“If your father asks, tell him these are all your shopping bags,” says the retired banking assistant.
“Take them upstairs and hide them in the spare bedroom cupboard.
“I’ll tell your dad I got him a shirt and bought nothing else.”
Janet, who is also mum to supermarket staffer Scott, 42, and IT expert Lee, 40, from a previous marriage, then hugs her husband and declares she has “barely spent a penny”.
That was June 2015, when Janet had an out-of-control “secret shopping” habit.
And she’s not alone.
The Money And Pensions Service revealed four in ten people are keeping “money secrets” from their loved ones.
Its survey showed 37 per cent of people keep credit cards secret from their partner.
A quarter of people don’t tell their loved one about their loans and almost two out of five people have hidden savings accounts.
Every week Janet would visit shops like Marks & Spencer, Tesco and Next and spend hundreds of pounds on dresses and kids’ toys for her family.
After she started competing in senior beauty pageants in January 2019 aged 60, she even had dresses imported from the USA, costing anything from £250 to £500 a piece.
But because she used her own savings for her splurges — and sneakily stashed her purchases away — Stewart didn’t realise.
“Stewart never thought I was a spendthrift,” says Janet, a grandmother of nine.
“When I wore a new outfit I’d say I found it at a charity shop, or borrowed it from a friend.
“By the time I came clean about my shopping secret in May 2020, I worked out I’d spent more than £70,000 over 30 years.
“Even I was horrified at the total.”
Janet says she only revealed the extent of her spending after she retired and she and Stewart opened a joint bank account — which left Stewart wondering where all her money was.
“He was horrified and went crazy,” she says. “But the truth is, I still haven’t fully stopped.”
‘I still haven’t fully stopped’
Now Janet is revealing why she committed what she calls “financial infidelity” for so long.
She explains: “I married my first husband in 1980, when I was 21, and money was tight.
“After divorcing in 1988, I was a single mum of two boys and never spent anything on myself.
Even I was horrified at the total
Janet
“I’d go to charity shops or upcycle old clothes.”
In 1994, Janet met Stewart while on holiday in Greece.
Chelsea, now a 28-year-old project manager, arrived in November 1996, and the pair married in 1999 when Janet was 41.
By then, money was less of an issue because she had a steady job.
“I was a late-in-life mum and determined to spoil our daughter and the boys,” she says. “That is how my secret spending began.”
Janet had two bank accounts — one for paying bills and the other, which her salary was paid into, to buy clothes and shoes, and enjoy beauty treatments.
She says: “The two bank accounts made it easier to hide my spending.
“I loved the thrill of buying new clothes for myself and the children. It gave me a tingling high and perked me up.
“But I felt naughty — and guilty. I knew if I told my husband we’d have an argument.
“Men don’t think like women.
“He wore the same clothes every day for work and didn’t understand why I had to have the newest outfits.”
When Chelsea became a teen, she helped conceal her mum’s excessive spending.
Janet says:“We would sneak off to the shops and hide our purchases before her dad got home.
“When she turned 18 and had her own job, I’d tell Stewart the shopping bags were hers, not mine.
“I could use her to hide the fact I had spent £500 on clothes, not the £50 I told Stewart.”
Janet says she would spend £5,000 “most years” on clothes and beauty treatments for herself, as well as clothes for the children and treats.
“I’d tell Stewart I had got a dress or blouse on sale, or that it was from the seconds rack,” she says.
‘Blazing row’
“And if I got his clothes on sale, I could splurge on extra for myself.”
Despite the initial thrill of spending, a feeling of unease would soon creep in.
“I’d feel guilty when I hid the clothes,” she says.
“The high of the buy would be wiped away by worry about what Stewart would say.
“And the older I got, the more I worried about retirement cash. The guilt would be crushing at times.
“My response was to sell items on eBay or Vinted and not spend for a month. But I’d always go back.”
In January 2019, Janet began competing in senior pageants for women over 40 after a friend suggested it.
Now she has come clean, she has even asked me to build her a bigger walk-in wardrobe
Stewart
“I started buying gowns online from the USA,” she says.
“When the parcels were piling up, I would blame the postie, saying they’d been delivered to the wrong house.”
It was only when she and Stewart opened their joint account that her extreme clothing habit came to light.
She says: “We’d had a few arguments over the years about my ever-growing wardrobe.
“But when we started using a joint account, Stewart realised how much I was spending on pageant dresses — some cost nearly £500 — and we had a blazing row.
“Stewart was so confused. He told me I didn’t need new outfits and that my wardrobe was overflowing.
“That’s when I said I’d been using most of my wages on clothes, treats for the kids, beauty treatments and new outfits,
“He told me I had to economise. I would agree and cut back for a couple of months, but the truth is, I haven’t really quit.
“It’s become a game of cat and mouse and he’s almost accepted it.
“I love my fashion, my pageant looks, lunches with the girls and having my hair and nails done regularly.
“I tell Stewart if he wants me to look fabulous in retirement, he needs to love me and my spending obsession.
“Stewart has work clothes, ‘comfies’ and going out trousers and shirts.
“What I save on his wardrobe, I spend on mine.”
Janet now compiles the accounts and quotes for Stewart’s building firm and is his admin assistant.
“Instead of getting paid, I shop,” she says. “It’s the compromise we have found.
“We all have secrets and this is a good one — it makes me happy. Stewart now realises a happy wife means a happy life.”
Stewart says: “I had always suspected Janet loved to shop — she was always squirrelling away clothes and bags.
“But when she told me the extent, I was shocked.
“Now she has come clean, she has even asked me to build her a bigger walk-in wardrobe.
“She has always worked hard while raising the children.
“I’ve just accepted her splurges — within reason of course.
“She also does an amazing job handling my admin. I can’t complain when she works for me for free.
“I have learnt to never get between Janet and her shopping.”
Her most pricey buys
- Karen Millen dress and jacket – £800
- Pageant gown – £600
- Jimmy Choo black shoes – £400 (on sale)
- Karen Millen black court shoes – £375 (on sale)
- YSL handbag – £350 (from outlet)