My partner has sex with other men but won’t allow me to sleep with other women

DEAR DEIDRE: SLEEPING with other men gave my partner’s libido a huge boost and vastly improved our sex life. But she refuses to allow me to sleep with other women.

Now I’m fed up with being in a one-sided open relationship.

I’m 46 and my partner is 45. We’ve been together for 15 years.

A few years ago, our sex life became boring.

Neither of us was satisfied but we didn’t talk about it.

But then, one night, she admitted to me that she’d been talking to a man online. She said flirting with him really turned her on.

It gave our sex life a huge boost. We started making love several times a day, instead of twice a month, and in much more adventurous positions.

Two weeks later, she confessed that they’d met for sex.

At first, I was upset, but then the thought of it began to turn me on.

I agreed she could see him again. And the more she saw him, the better our sex life became.

After that fizzled out, she asked if she could carry on having liaisons with other men.

However, she said she didn’t want a full open relationship, as she couldn’t bear the thought of me being with other women.

I’ve gone along with it ever since then.

My partner has had threesomes, joined swinging sites, even gone to sex parties. But now I’ve had enough.

The knowledge she is having sex with other men no longer turns me on.

In fact, it now makes me feel angry, resentful and even emasculated.
I don’t want to hear about it.

I’ve told her how I feel but she still won’t let me take a lover or join her for group sex.

Although I love my partner very much, I’m now considering walking away from our relationship for good.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your partner is having her cake and eating it, while she’s put you on a restricted diet. That’s not fair.

Even if you agreed to this arrangement at first, you’re no longer happy, and she needs to take your feelings into account.

Ask yourself if sleeping with other women is really what you want.

It sounds like you just want your partner to yourself again.

You need to be honest with yourself and then with her.

See if a compromise can be reached, or if you feel your relationship has reached the end of the road.

My support pack on Swapping And Swinging should have some useful information and sources of support for you.