Bladder troubles stop me from dating and I’ve wet myself twice at work

DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE the menopause, I can’t hold on when I need to pee, so I have to wear incontinence pads as big as nappies.

It makes me so embarrassed and is stopping me from dating.

I’m an independent woman of 54 and I’ve been like this for two years.

I simply can’t wait when I need to use the bathroom, not even for a second.

I have wet myself twice at work. I’m a hospital administrator and I was wearing grey trousers, so I had to wrap my coat around my waist as it was so obvious.

My friend was talking to me about going on a date with a pal of hers but when I told her my predicament, she suddenly didn’t want to match me up any more. Now she looks at me with disgust.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry you received such a judgmental reaction by this person but, in fact, it indicates she is not good friend material at all.

Ask your GP for a referral to a gynaecologist or a pelvic health physiotherapist to get some professional treatment.

You will hopefully be able to regain a lot of your bladder control if you start regular pelvic floor exercises – the nhs.uk website has clear instructions on how to do these.

Drinking too much alcohol, tea, coffee and fizzy drinks can also make bladder issues worse, so it’s worth cutting back.

You can find professional support at womens-health-concern.org.