John Mulaney’s Son Learned to Talk Because of ‘How Much He Hated Steely Dan’

This kid ain’t exactly Charlemagne. John Mulaney, a leading celebrity spokesperson for the music of Steely Dan, decided to take his recent Tonight Show appearance on a tangent about how his son, Malcolm, was so repulsed by Donald Fagen and Walter Becker’s arrangements that it spurred him to hit a milestone on the child-development scale. “I love Steely Dan. Some people don’t like Steely Dan. It’s a very divisive band. When I had a son I went, Great, fresh person. Fresh ears,” he recalled. “That’s one reason to have a baby is you can test Steely Dan out on them.” Mulaney attempted such a test when his son, who already showed a proclivity toward rock music, was 9 months old. “I put on the Steely Dan song ‘Hey Nineteen’ because that’s fun. You look at all of the applause of recognization for ‘Hey Nineteen.’ And he’s not dancing,” he continued. “So I change it to the song ‘Gaucho’ from the album Gaucho. Again, folks, sit down and stop applauding. I turned on ‘Gaucho’ and he’s not dancing.” So who is the gaucho in this scenario, amigo?

“My son looks at me and goes, ‘Ee I ee I oh.’ And I go, ‘Do you want to listen to “Old MacDonald”’? I turned on ‘Old MacDonald’ and he immediately starts dancing,” Mulaney said. “So here’s what’s interesting about that story. He had never spoken before. That’s how much he hated Steely Dan. He taught himself to talk.” At least Malcolm didn’t refer to them as yacht rock.

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• We’ve Been Overdue for a Steely Dan Smackdown