My Offseason of Rest and Relaxation

The rat race. Kill or be killed. Greed is good. We want more. We demand more. A thoughtless vague more that eats at our bellies and keeps us awake at night. Do we pause for a moment and think that we do have more? No. The very term itself is indefinable. I can say we have more than we did then, but I can never say we have more than we do now.

But what if, dear readers, this pursuit of more, this pursuit of victory at all costs is misplaced and perverse. Look around you. Here is Cal. Sitting his fat ass down to catch some balls or perhaps standing his fat ass up to clobber some balls. Do you look at that scene and say more! I want more! Isn't that enough? Or here, look at young George Kirby. All he wants to do in life is throw strikes. Do you look at his dedication to the strike zone and think, I want more than this. It is not enough.

Why is that? When your team was littered with Washburn's and Bay's, sure your cries of more, so pitiful, could be heard and respected. But now? You, filled with Woo, are still shouting more? For shame. What is wrong with you?

In desperation you snivel and yearn for just one more banger who bangs, forgetting that every banger who doesn't bang was once a banger who banged and may in fact, bang again. And look at these bangers who once banged you have all around you! And even if not, do you really want to go out and get yet another banger who banged last year but not so much this year?

Meditation is based off the idea of stillness. We are letting the world move around us, not afraid of what we are missing out on, but assured that we have everything that we need already within us. Mariners fans, this is the year we embrace this peace. This is the year we demand nothing. Let us be who we are. Let the Mariners be who they are. And maybe, just maybe, in this stillness we can find 90 or 91 wins and sneak into the playoffs. But probably not. And that's OK too. Because we still had Bryce Miller pitch for us. A human being of remarkable talent will give his all. A full team of remarkably talented people will give their all for the Mariners next year. And you are saying to them, I wanted more? You horrible prick.

So relax. Take a break. The Mariners have a team that should be perfectly fine. If things break their way they may even be good. Let's not do anything crazy. Do nothing, kick back, and enjoy these fine young athletes who are good at baseball. Look at Julio! He's doing things I could never dream of doing! Remarkable! I hope it results in some wins. And down there at third base! Who is that? Well, I don't exactly know yet, but I'm sure it will be someone much better at baseball than you or me.

As the Mariners do nothing this offseason I hope you'll join them and me, in also doing nothing. Not complaining. Not desperately trying to piece together some trade that will never happen and never work. But recognize they're right to do nothing. We have all we need right here. Hope for the present. Hope for the future. So as I curl up under my blanket and try to hibernate until Spring Training, let me leave you with this: Go Mariners! But don't really go anywhere. Just mostly stay right here. Doing nothing.