We Tried for Years to Have a Baby But Rejected IVF Because We’re Pro-Life, Now We Have a Beautiful Daughter

In August 2019, my wife Stephanie and I were packing our bags for a trip to the Sunshine State with two other couples who were long-time friends. After this trip, all three couples planned on starting our families. We talked excitedly on the beach that week of how this would likely be the last trip with just the six of us.

“Next time we see each other, we’ll have babies!”

Little did Stephanie and I know then that we were about to embark on a separate, challenging journey that would put our marriage, and our Catholic faith, to the test.

Negative Tests

Roughly six months later, our feelings of joy and anticipation had turned into creeping anxiety and worry. We weren’t pregnant yet. We tried not to stress, but we went to the doctor to get things checked out after this much time.

Stephanie took a series of tests for egg count and quality, making sure her fallopian tubes were open, and each test returned normal. We were relieved when doctors assured us that nothing was preventing us from getting pregnant and that it was just a matter of time.

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We were referred to a reproductive endocrinologist for additional tests. These also came back normal, and we were told if we did not get pregnant in the next few months, they would be glad to start intrauterine insemination (IUI) or in-vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments for us.

We were devastated that these were the only options presented. We know the stance the Catholic Church has on these treatments, but no solutions that respected our faith were on offer.

We felt frustrated and stuck with nowhere to turn. And completely on our own.

Naturally, as millennials, we started to look online for any other avenues that could increase our chances of pregnancy. Stephanie tried some acupuncture and herbal remedies for six to eight months, but unfortunately those didn’t help either.

We hit bottom emotionally.

Then one night in the spring of 2021, we were sitting on the couch unwinding after our respective workdays, and one of Stephanie’s friends called to see how things were going. She casually made a suggestion that would change our lives. eventually led us down the long and winding road to Na-Pro technology (short for Natural Procreative Technology).

Our friend suggested that we reach out to our diocese’s Natural Family Planning (NFP) coordinator. We had previously met her at a wedding prep course, but that thought had not crossed our mind. We eagerly reached out. She introduced us to a natural alternative to IUI and IVF: Na-Pro technology (short for Natural Procreative Technology).

Working With Nature

Rooted in the work of Dr. Thomas W. Hilgers, Na-Pro was inspired by Pope Paul VI’s encyclical Humanae Vitae (1968). After reading the work – famous for its condemnation of artificial contraception and reproductive technology – Dr. Hilgers felt a call to find better ways of caring for women with reproductive health challenges.

Na-Pro works with women’s natural fertility cycles and treats conditions without artificial hormones or surgeries.

While Na-Pro doctors can be hard to find, our diocesan connection pointed us to one just outside of our city. We once again received that sense of hope and excitement that we had felt in the autumn of 2019.

The doctor took a series of bloodwork from Stephanie and analyzed her Creighton chart for her menstrual cycle. She was able to find some hormone imbalances and prescribed some shots to optimize Stephanie’s hormones during her cycle.

Stephanie began getting bloodwork drawn monthly to check her hormone levels until they were finally optimal throughout her cycle. That summer, we were excited that we seemed to have found the issue and could continue our journey to having children.

But after four or five months of unsuccessful attempts, we again became discouraged. The doctor retired, and it felt like we were back at square one.

Taking Another Look

Fast forward to April of 2022, we found a new doctor and with her help made the prayerful decision for Stephanie to undergo diagnostic surgery. The laparoscopy uncovered severe stage 3 endometriosis throughout Stephanie’s body, including on her reproductive organs. Since the doctor could only remove 20% of the endometriosis, a second surgery was scheduled for September 2022.

That procedure went well, and we were excited that the root of the problem had been found and fixed at last. We now really felt a newfound hope and excitement, but once again our patience would be tried.

After the procedure, Stephanie’s hormone levels which had previously been optimized, were giving us trouble again. After seven or eight months, we were both starting to feel discouraged and started to consider what life may be like if we were unable to have our own kids. We seriously discussed adoption. We were entering our late thirties, and it seemed like time was running out.

Hope Returns

Then in June, after a switch in medication, Stephanie’s monthly bloodwork came back and her hormones were perfect. We tried not get too excited, but truly this was the first cycle, after trying for over forty-five other cycles, where the endometriosis had been excised and her hormones were optimized.

Unfortunately, we were not able to get pregnant in June but we were hopeful.

In July, Stephanie and I journeyed to the Dominican Republic to just relax, enjoy each other’s company, and try to take our minds off of fertility. Thankfully when we returned home, Stephanie’s bloodwork indicated that her hormones were optimal again.

Words can’t express our joy when in August we found out that we were pregnant with our daughter, Cecilia Elizabeth.

Faithfulness is Rewarded

While this road was very difficult to travel, it did reveal some things about ourselves that otherwise wouldn’t have been apparent. Stephanie’s determination to stay true to our Catholic faith and willingness to undergo multiple treatments to conceive a child was amazing and allowed me to see her in a new light. Seeing her be a champion for her reproductive health while keeping her faith was inspiring.

It is emotionally difficult to seek out additional opinions after receiving input from secular doctors you trust. The easy way out would have been to give up – either on our bodies or on our faith. IVF can seem like a cure-all. The patience required through this journey reminded us that God has a plan for us, even if it is not on our timeline.

And it was worth it.

Spreading the Joy

Our exposure to Na-Pro has made us want to proclaim from the mountains that there is another option besides what most fertility doctors tell you. And it is the best way! It can be difficult to find a Na-Pro doctor, but we can’t say enough about this natural process and its merits. Not everyone will have Stephanie’s diagnosis, but these doctors will be able to pinpoint what is going on.

Stephanie and I now want to help others who may be in a similar situation and hope that our story can provide hope for others and bring Na-Pro technology to the forefront of the conversation about children, fertility, and marriage.

LifeNews Note: David Sanctis writes for Refine, where this column originally appeared.

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