Oh, He’s Blond But a Psycho
American Psycho, despite points to the contrary, did need to be remade. “But the original movie is perfect,” you argue. Sure, but Patrick Bateman should really be blond. Luckily, Luca Guadagnino understands this. His new adaptation of the Bret Easton Ellis novel has cast Austin Butler as the titular psycho, Patrick Bateman, per Variety. Previous rumors had circled around Jacob Elordi, but while Bateman could certainly be tall, it likely became clear to all involved that a 2024 version should have the blond tresses of, say, Lucky Blue Smith. The question now becomes what voice will Butler don for the months both preceding and proceeding the film. We vote for a transatlantic countertenor. That would really throw people off.
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