I fell in love with a man I saw on The Undateables – we can have sex like any couple, but there are challenges
PARALYSED at just 17, George Dowell MBE, from West Sussex, believed his life was over.
Here, George and his partner Jessikah Lopez, both 32, reveal how he rebuilt his life by buying his favourite football club, before they found love after meeting online.
Lying in a hospital bed, trying to come to terms with the news I’d never walk again, I wanted to die.
Everything I loved and had planned had been ripped away from me.
In 2010, when I was 17, I was left paralysed from the chest down after a car I was a passenger in crashed.
A keen footballer, my dream was to play semi-professionally while working as a firefighter after I finished college.
When a consultant told me a few days later that I would need a wheelchair for the rest of my life, I was devastated.
It was a really dark time.
I spent 10 months in hospital having physio, trying to prepare for life as a disabled person, both practically and emotionally.
Then, I moved into an adapted bungalow with my mum Linda, but I struggled to adjust.
My self-confidence was low, I hated it if people stared at me with pity, and it wasn’t always easy to socialise because many venues weren’t wheelchair-accessible, all of which made me withdraw and instead stay at home playing computer games.
I had great support from my then-girlfriend, who I’d been with since before the accident, as well as my friends – but while they were out working, going on holiday and clubbing, I felt like my life was going nowhere.
In 2014, my relationship ended and I worried I may never have another.
My partner had known and loved me before my accident, but who would want to date me now?
The following year, using compensation money I’d received after the accident, I made a huge decision – to buy Worthing FC.
The club was in financial difficulties and its closure would have been a huge loss to my local community.
I also needed a purpose and to feel my life had goals again.
I decided that if I couldn’t play football, running the club I loved would be the next best thing.
So I threw myself into my new role.
It was a lot to take on aged just 22, sitting in a boardroom of executives, but I had good support from everyone involved.
I funded a new 3G synthetic pitch and renovated the bar area to make it feel more welcoming and create a community hub.
Despite all the stress, I loved the challenge.
In 2016, I was approached by dating TV show The Undateables and agreed to take part because I wanted to push myself, as well as represent other young disabled people.
I didn’t end up meeting anyone through the show, but taking part boosted my confidence and over the next few years I went on several dates.
But I never made the first move if I saw someone I liked in a bar, as I was afraid of being rejected.
In 2019, a Facebook post by a girl called Jessikah popped up on my feed.
She’d followed me since I’d been on the TV show and she was gorgeous.
So I sent her an emoji message – and she replied.
For the next week, we messaged, then FaceTimed, and it felt so easy, like I’d known her for years.
She already knew I was disabled and I felt like I could just be myself as we laughed for hours.
We decided to meet up to see if our online spark could become a real-life one.
I worried that seeing me in my wheelchair might prove too much for her, but thankfully, it didn’t, and we became a couple.
‘I chase around after my daughter – it’s normal for her that Daddy is disabled’
I felt so lucky that Jessikah wanted to be with me, and in 2020 we moved in together into a house adapted for my needs.
Then, last November, our daughter Bonnie was born.
Holding her in my arms, she felt like the final piece in the puzzle of the life I’ve been rebuilding since my accident.
I can cuddle and feed Bonnie, and as she gets more active I’m now chasing her around in my chair.
It’s normal to her that Daddy is disabled, and we do go on trips to the park and on family holidays – they just need some extra planning.
If you had told me 14 years ago, as I lay in that hospital bed, that I’d fall in love, become a dad, buy my favourite football club – which I still run today and have seen through several promotions – and get an MBE in 2023 for services to association football and disability awareness, I would never have believed you.
My life changed overnight when I became disabled, but what happened led me to Jessikah and Bonnie, and I feel incredibly lucky.
Jessikah says: “When I first started dating George, I kept being asked the same question by family and friends: ‘Are you sure?’
My answer was always: ‘Yes.’ I understood their concerns, as they worried that his disability would make it impossible for us to lead a normal life, and I knew that being with George would bring challenges other couples wouldn’t have to face.
But I also knew that nobody is perfect and life is unpredictable.
What matters most to me is that we have an incredible connection, he makes me happy and that he’s a good man.
I never expected following George on social media after watching him on The Undateables would lead to us becoming a couple.
To be honest, I was just being nosy, as I thought he was really cute and likeable!
But when he messaged me in 2019, I couldn’t believe how well we got on.
For the first few years of our relationship, including after we moved in together during the pandemic, I was very clear that we should maintain a boundary between us as a couple and George’s care needs, and he agreed.
Yet, as time went on, I found I wanted to look after him.
I didn’t like our home life being interrupted by carers coming and going, and I loved George, so it began to feel natural to show that in a different way.
It wasn’t easy for him at first to accept that help from me, but I insisted I wanted to do it and reminded him that he cared for me in so many other ways, including emotionally.
In 2021, we decided we wanted to start a family together.
We can have sex like any couple – something that often surprises people – but due to the nature of George’s paralysis, we needed IVF to conceive.
The process was lengthy, but in early 2023, we found out that I was expecting after our first round of treatment.
We were completely overjoyed.
My pregnancy was tough, though, as I wasn’t very well for a lot of it, and I know that George struggled with not being able to look after me then as much as he wanted to.
‘I knew George would throw himself into fatherhood and find a way around challenges’
That November, when I gave birth to Bonnie and watched George cradle her tiny body in his arms, I thought my heart would explode.
I’d never had a single qualm about having a child with him.
I knew how determined George is and that he would throw himself into fatherhood and find a way around challenges, which he has done.
When Bonnie was really small, he wore her in a sling to keep her safe when she was sitting on his lap, and he has special gloves that help him grip to give her a bottle.
Now, he wheels after her in the garden and feeds her dinner.
She adores her Daddy.
If people look at us when we’re out and about as a family and wonder how we make it work, with me able-bodied and George disabled, I’d love to tell them that it truly makes no difference.
Disability is a part of our relationship, but it doesn’t define it, and it certainly doesn’t detract from it. George is the love of my life.”
- Watch George and Jessikah in The Club That George Built, on Discovery+
- Follow them on Instagram @Thewheellife_