I looked like any other Xmas party goer but I was battling an £80k booze addiction that left me with broken bones
FULL of bruises and battered after a disaster of a Christmas party, Samantha Parker realised her life had to change.
It was just the first hour of the event that Samantha could remember before it descended into a booze-fuelled carnage – one that included a fall which left her with ugly injuries.
“At some point, I landed on my head and cracked my skull. I spent the holidays with a massive hematoma on my face, lying to my family about why I looked like I got beat up,” she said.
She recalled thinking “Maybe I should stop drinking”.
However, it would take Samantha, who works as a social media manager, another decade to go fully sober earlier this year.
The 39-year-old now bravely shares her raw journey to sobriety on TikTok, where she inspires and offers hope to those struggling with binge-drinking during what can be the most tempting season of the year – Christmas.
She reckons she’s spent over an eye-watering $100,000 (£80,000) during her 22 years of heavy drinking.
But the financial toll, however big, pales in comparison to the emotional cost.
“One drink leads to many, and the next thing you know, you’re lying to your loved ones and unravelling your life,” she said.
“I turned into a different person when I drank—saying and doing things sober me would never even think of. After two decades of this, I had to ask myself: how much further was I willing to go?”
From becoming a single mum at 21 to quitting her job at 30 to go to college and launch her own business, Samantha has overcome several challenges.
Throughout these years, alcohol took over her life and the festive season was particularly difficult, marked by blackouts, embarrassing moments, and regret kicking in the morning after.
“I’ve had Christmases where I blacked out in front of my grandparents or was too hungover to enjoy Christmas morning with my kids,” she admitted.
“I want a happy holiday, not a bloated, hungover, and regret-filled one.”
To put an end to this vicious cycle, the mum turned to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and took up running – but although it was ”incredibly hard”, the step is what ”saved” Samantha.
Since ditching booze for good, Samantha’s perspective on the Christmas season has changed dramatically.
What was once an excuse to enjoy a tipple has become ”opportunity to create new traditions and memories”, she told Daily Star.
When it comes to attending events that typically involve alcohol, Samantha always comes prepared ”with a drinking plan”, arriving with her own cooler.
If the vibes aren’t great, Samantha said, she will leave without any hesitation.
One of the most rewarding surprises of Samantha’s sobriety journey has been the clarity it’s brought to her relationships, one by one losing the ”toxic people” she didn’t realise were toxic at the time.
“When I was drinking, I would spiral through shame and guilt. I spent so much time apologising. Sobriety helped me see that it wasn’t me—it was them.”
The harms of binge drinking
The NHS defines binge drinking as ‘drinking heavily over a short space of time’.
More than 8 units of alcohol in a single session for males, or more than 6 units in a single session for females is the technical definition, according to Drinkaware.
That’s equivalent to about four pints of normal strength beer for a man or three pints for a woman.
When you binge drink, other than getting drunk, your heart rate and blood pressure will rise. It can cause irregular heartbeats, known as arrhythmias.
Alcohol increases stomach acid production – queue the nausea and potentially vomiting.
You’re also likely to experience impaired judgement, coordination, memory blackouts and poor decision making.
This could lead to accidents, falls, drownings and other mistakes.
Long term, binge drinking can cause acute liver damage and increase the risk of chronic liver diseases such as cirrhosis and liver cancer.
Cardiovascular problems include cardiomyopathy – which is when the heart loses the ability to pump blood efficiently – and an increased risk of stroke.
Over time, binge drinking can contribute to permanent brain damage. This may present as a mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression.
Binge drinking can also lead to alcohol dependence, or “addiction”.
Of course, there have also been huge health benefits, with inflammation now gone from her body.
For those struggling with drinking, Samantha, from Utah, the US, offers this advice: “You can never find a healthy drinking level. You’ll always be grasping for that ‘normal drinker’ status.
”Just walk away. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing a healthier life.”
This holiday season Samantha plans on focusing on creating joyful, memories with her children – and alcohol is not on the agenda.
“The holidays are a time for family, love, and celebration—not for regret and shame,” she said.