I’m devastated after my husband walked out on me and our daughter

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband walked out leaving me and our daughter alone. We are devastated.

The double blow is that he’s gone to live with my best mate.

We’ve been married for 15 years. I’m 37 and my husband is 40. Our daughter is eight.

I knew my friend wasn’t in a good place. She’s 35 and she’d told me that she was having problems in her marriage and they separated soon after. 

Her husband gave her some space and moved down to their caravan for a while, and left her and her two boys at home. I’d been trying to support her.

Now my husband has fessed up about their affair and moved in with my friend. It’s been going on for three months and I feel like a fool.

He wants our daughter to stay with him at weekends at our friend’s house. How can they both be so heartless?

DEIDRE SAYS: You must be feeling so hurt and so will your daughter.

Insist that your husband has one-to-one time with his daughter so that she knows how much she is loved. Children have a habit of feeling it’s their fault when parents break up.

My support pack called When Parents Fall Out explains more and explains where you can find support.

You may need some counselling to unscramble your feelings about this complex situation so contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1975) which offers online help at a reasonable cost.