The 12 crimes of Christmas – the legal woes of being Santa Claus
It’s the start of the Christmas holidays and we will soon be settling down to excitedly unpacking the contents of our stockings and unwrapping the gifts under the tree. But, amid all this fun and frivolity, the lawyer in me can’t help but wonder whether Father Christmas has thought his annual endeavour through.
So, with apologies to the original authors (and with a promise that I will not sing) let us take a look at the “12 crimes of Christmas”.
12 properties damaged from the impact of an overladen sleigh
First, there might be an issue about landing on insufficiently supported rooftops. And homeowners’ insurance policies are unlikely to cover an “act of Santa”. A civil claim against Mr F. Christmas might be the easier option.
11 border crossings with live animals without the appropriate permits
The usual four-month quarantine period might have to be waived if we want the presents delivered this Christmas. Still, magical flying reindeer, being non-native to Britain, will likely come under other special import rules. Furthermore, has the civil aviation authority been notified of the nonstandard aircraft?
Ten employment tribunals from overworked and undercompensated elves
All night working, freezing weather conditions and very little regard for ‘elf and safety are sure to spell disaster for workers’ rights. I am not so sure that pointy hats with bells on and soft felt shoes count as PPE.
Nine counts of trespass
It seems likely that Father Christmas might well be relying on some kind of implied consent, so this could be the least of his worries. After all, there’s an expectation he will deliver the presents, and those stockings won’t fill themselves. But a certain Mr E. Scrooge might disagree.
Eight complaints to the information commissioner for breach of GDPR
He’s made a list and checked it twice – but has he checked if it violates data protection laws?
All those letters, addresses and details on who’s been naughty and who’s been nice need robust measures in place to ensure appropriate data handling for such sensitive information. Let’s not even get started on the question of consent. Is there a claim for legitimate interest here? Unlikely given that it involves children.
Seven claims for trademark infringement and passing off
Just where did all that branded packaging come from? It wouldn’t shock me if there is more than a little hint of counterfeiting going on. We could notify HM Customs and ask them to seize the products at the border as they come in.
Santa should read up on the recent legal dispute between M&S and Aldi over a festive gin liqueur bottle before delivering any similar gifts.
Six claims for patent, design and copyright infringement
The potential for intellectual property infringement just seems to be getting worse. And IP rights apply country by country, so tracking what right applies where is going to be a headache. And we’ve not even got to the question of how the elves have got hold of all those secret recipes and confidential information.
Five cease and desist letters
To be served on a Mr S. Claus, t/a Father Christmas. How do we even send such a letter? Let’s not think too hard about serving any claim forms should we decide to actually start court proceedings for any of this.
It seems an odd one to leave at the foot of the chimney with the mince pies, brandy and carrot. We’d better get court permission for this non-standard service. Maybe proceedings should be issued at the North Pole instead, though I fear a frosty reception.
Four counts of ‘sleighing’ under the influence
After enjoying one too many of the glasses of brandy left on the fireplace, Santa is likely to be in violation of the 1872 Licensing Act, which prohibits being drunk “in charge of any carriage”.
Read more: Claus for concern: why we should be worried about Santa's health
Three animal welfare claims
Vixen, Comet and Cupid are in uproar – reindeer are not really meant to fly all night without a break. They also have issues about royalty payments as they do not believe they get the same recognition as Rudolph and the others. Though questions remain whether these concerns would fall under animal welfare or worker protection laws.
Two class actions for product liability
With toys being made and delivered at such a massive scale, there are bound to be some hiccups. And if faulty presents don’t work as intended, Santa could face widespread complaints. I hope he keeps a list of the products made, or it could be a bumpy ride in trying to work out what constitutes a defect. Issuing international product recalls and making sure people know about them is going to be difficult.
All leading to…
One very large legal headache
No wonder it’s only one night in the year. The other 364 are taken up with the lawyers! It looks very much like Santa might end up on his own naughty list at this rate. The North Pole Legal Department must be clearing the whole of January to respond to all those pre-action letters and summonses as I type.
Peter Vaughan does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.