Tesla Cyberbeast is 834hp hunk truck with aircraft-style steering, crazy autopilot feature & enough speed to smoke a 911
YOU are the world’s richest man and you need a prezzie for the Prez.
What are you buying:
Novelty socks? Melania’s book? Chocolate Santa?
I’d like to think Elon Musk has put a big red bow on one of these.
A giant stainless-steel hunk of a truck with armoured glass and three electric motors pumping out 834hp.
Now before I start, I should perhaps explain that this isn’t any ordinary Tesla Cybertruck. It’s the Beast. Cyberbeast.
It’ll smoke a Porsche 911 off the line — while towing another Porsche 911.
Who else can do that?
Can Russia do that? No. Can China do that? No. Only America can do that.
Sorry, I slipped into Trump mode, there.
Trump’s a great driver, by the way. Great driver. Almost as long as Bryson DeChambeau.
Now, let’s unpack Cyberbeast. Launch control. All-wheel drive. All-wheel steering. Active air suspension. All that good stuff.
The windows can resist a baseball strike at 70mph, apparently.
We didn’t try it. We didn’t want the paperwork.
The lightbar illuminates the road 500 yards ahead.
The load bed can carry a tonne of stuff. Or you can camp on it.
Trying to keep the bodywork clean with all the bugs and fingerprints is an absolute nightmare.
By the way, you know this is a Cyberbeast because it’s got a snarling Cerberus (three-headed dog) lasered on to the tailgate.
So, what’s it like to drive?
Surprisingly easy. Once you’ve mastered the aircraft-style steer-by-wire system.
Just the tiniest of turns, to one o’clock, gives you lots of lock at low speed.
Even crazier is autopilot on the freeway. Hands off the steering wheel. Feet off the pedals. Just let Cyberbeast do its thing.
It’ll change lanes automatically when it sees a gap in the traffic.
It took a while to trust it.
But I suppose if Tesla autopilot is going to work anywhere, it’s going to work in Elon’s back garden in California.
Despite its obvious size and weight, Cyberbeast is more comfortable — and more fun — than you might think.
The suspension smooths lumps and bumps in the road. There’s very little body roll. The cabin’s super quiet.
Then there’s the hilarious burst of speed when you mash the accelerator.
Like the Model 3 and Model Y we have in Great Britainland, that massive 18.5in touchscreen is the truck’s command centre and is super easy to navigate.
So, that’s the Tesla Cyberbeast. You either get it or you don’t.
I get it.
Next time Trump comes to visit, he’s got a properly cool Presidential limo.
Key facts:
TESLA CYBERBEAST
Price: £92,000
Battery: 122kWh
Power: 834hp
0-60mph: 2.6 secs
Top speed: 130mph
Range: 320 miles
Out: Now