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Michael Penix Jr. found out he was starting while buying a Costco hotdog

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Photo by PATRICK T. FALLON/AFP via Getty Images

What a time to be alive.

You have absolutely no idea how much unbridled joy this brings me. Falcons’ rookie Michael Penix Jr. found out that he was getting the nod to start for Atlanta moving forward while waiting in line to buy a $1.50 hotdog from Costco.

If you’ve spent any time on this site over the last couple of years you’ll know I’ve had a propensity to compare Kirk Cousins to a Costco hotdog. A functionally fine item, that will satisfy your hunger, without being so great it’s ever memorable. This tube meat-based metaphor was designed to say that Cousins is a quarterback who will get solid results, but never quite be special enough to get the team over the hump.

In case you need more proof ...

Kirk Cousins is never going to win anything because he’s a Costco hotdog

Kirk Cousins isn’t going to win in Atlanta because he’s still a Costco hotdog

Now Cousins has been benched for a guy who was buying a Costco hotdog. All I can hope for Falcons fans is that Michael Penix Jr. is not a Costco hotdog.




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