Harriette Cole: We bought our forever home. Then the stress started.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I recently decided to purchase a home, not just for ourselves, but for our kids to have a secure and stable shelter, especially if we’re no longer around.
The house is quite plain, with no partitions or any significant renovations, so we’ve made the decision to renovate it before we move in.
While I’m excited about the potential of creating a space that feels like home, the entire renovation process has been overwhelming. With finding the right contractors, deciding on materials and keeping everything within our budget, I’m feeling the weight of the responsibility.
The constant decision-making and the pressure to get everything right are taking a toll on me.
I want to enjoy this experience and look forward to the end result, but the planning and organizing are starting to feel never-ending. It’s becoming difficult to balance everything else in my life while focusing on the renovation.
— Renovation Overload
DEAR RENOVATION OVERLOAD: You have taken on one of the most stressful tasks there is. Knowing that may help to give perspective.
Keep the big picture in mind: You and your spouse have a plan for yourselves and your family that should have a generational impact. It is hard right now, but keep your eyes on the prize.
If your children are old enough, engage them in the process. If there’s anything they can do to help, invite them to chip in. It could be something seemingly small, like preparing meals on especially long days or following up with particular contractors.
Allow them to help you make this dream come true. It will keep them invested in their future.
DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was single, I never learned how to cook; my mom always took care of that for us. However, after getting married, I’ve been wanting to learn how to cook more than just fried foods and to try more varied meals.
The problem is that I always feel intimidated by complicated recipes. I end up sticking to the same meals every week because I don’t know where to start or how to manage it. The idea of cooking something new often feels daunting, and I worry about wasting ingredients or not getting the recipe right.
I genuinely want to improve my cooking skills and experiment with different dishes, but I’m concerned it will be too stressful or take too much time. At times, I feel discouraged before I even start.
Should I try breaking down the cooking process into smaller steps and gradually work my way up to more complex recipes?
— Cooking Anxiety
DEAR COOKING ANXIETY: Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be all right!
Many people struggle with learning how to cook, but it is now easy to find simple recipes online that can guide you. Two websites where I find recipes are simplyrecipes.com and allrecipes.com — you truly can find instructions there for virtually every type of meal you are interested in preparing.
You may also choose to take a cooking class or purchase a meal delivery kit. Try cooking with your partner — you could make it a date night!
You are wise to move away from eating fried foods every day. They are known to lead to health issues.
As you learn to cook, search for healthy recipes that use the minimum amounts of saturated fat and oil. If you or your partner has any health issues, research what foods are good for supporting you.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.