I battled mental health & dark thoughts when I was pregnant – doctors took drastic step to help me, says Chelsee Healey
ACTRESS Chelsee Healey has told how “dark thoughts” plagued her second pregnancy, leaving her racked with guilt.
The Hollyoaks star — who will be competing in Dancing On Ice next month to inspire her daughters — was tormented by her painful struggle to enjoy her growing family.
Her mental health took such a dip while she was carrying baby Cookie that medics performed a caesarean section in December 2023 to deliver the tot three weeks early.
Chelsee, 36, who is also mum to Coco, seven, reveals she had post- partum depression too.
She says: “I have suffered with my mental health for a long time and it hit its peak while I was pregnant.
“There were times when I would have dark thoughts then blame myself, because I would think, ‘How can I be like this when I am pregnant and have a young girl who needs her mum?’.
“There were moments when I couldn’t get out of it mentally and then I would put myself in a bigger hole, thinking, ‘Why am I feeling this way?’.
‘Blessing in disguise’
“They had to put me into my C-section early because of my mental health.
“Cookie was due on January 14 and they put me in for my C-section on December 22.
“They knew I was really struggling.
“I was having counselling throughout, but I did struggle with postpartum depression after giving birth, and it was tough.”
Chelsee, who plays Goldie McQueen in Hollyoaks, faced another scare during the delivery when it was discovered the umbilical cord had wrapped twice around Cookie’s neck.
The common condition can lead to complications including respiratory distress, anaemia and stillbirth.
Chelsee explains: “It was horrendous.
“When they got Cookie out, she didn’t start crying for five minutes.
“That was traumatic.
“She was distressed and they had to get her out quickly, so she was under a lot of stress.
“There was so much going through my head at that point and, when I didn’t hear her crying, I panicked.
“But if I had given birth any later, I’m not sure how it would have ended.
“It was a blessing in disguise.”
She adds: “With my first daughter, Coco, everything was so much easier.
“I flew through it and bounced back, body-wise and mentally.
“The second was a completely different story.”
Cookie is now a healthy toddler and the family — including doting dad Eddie, whose surname Chelsee has chosen not to reveal — celebrated her first birthday with a trip to see Santa last weekend.
The couple are looking forward to a relaxing New Year’s Eve at home in Manchester before Dancing On Ice training resumes on January 2.
Chelsee says she is putting herself under pressure to do well on the ITV show, having been runner-up on the ninth series of Strictly Come Dancing in 2011, when she was paired with Russian dance pro Pasha Kovalev.
They scored a perfect 40 out of 40 for their paso doble before being pipped in the final by McFly drummer Harry Judd and his partner.
Chelsee reckons she will face similarly tough competition in Dancing On Ice, against a line-up including Corrie actor Sam Aston, EastEnder Charlie Brooks, TV presenter Ferne McCann, Olympic rower Steve Redgrave, Love Island hunk Chris Taylor and Traitors contestant Mollie Pearce.
She says: “I think people assume that when you can dance, you can ice-skate as well — and it’s the opposite.
“I know I can dance, I’ve got a bit of rhythm.
“But as far as ice- skating goes, that is completely alien to me.
“We’ve all watched each other’s performances and the other contestants were all brilliant and I thought, ‘Oh my God, I’m awful’.
“Ferne is stunning, Mollie is amazing, along with Charlie, so I’m not feeling confident.
“But if I can get through the live show and stay on my feet, I will be fine.
“I’m in competition with myself and no one else.”
Born in Salford, Gtr Manchester, Chelsee was raised by her mother, Beverley Jarvis, after her dad, Brian Healey, an air-conditioning engineer, died when she was five.
Her first TV role was as Katie Moore in BBC Three drama Burn It in 2003.
From 2006 until 2009, she played pupil Janeece Bryant in BBC school drama Waterloo Road.
After a guest role on Hollyoaks in 2008 as a character called Michelle, Chelsee was brought back as gobby Goldine “Goldie” McQueen from 2016 — a part she will resume next year.
‘A few breakdowns’
The actress still seeks support for her mental health and believes fame has played a part in her turmoil.
She says: “I am speaking to someone weekly and trying to come to terms with it and get to the bottom of why I have these thoughts and feelings when I’m so blessed in life.
“It’s very up and down and I just try to keep going for the girls.
“I don’t know where I would be without them.
“I am on medication to try to balance it out.
“It’s better for me to be doing things and running around after the girls — that’s what keeps me balanced.”
But she adds: “I’ve been this way since I was 18 and it started again after Strictly.
“I started the tablets, thought I was OK, and stopped them, then had to start them again.
“It’s being in the public eye, I guess.”
Eddie has been Chelsee’s rock, and she says finding love has also seen her ditch “tacky” outfits, in a remarkable glow-up.
She says: “My image has changed and that’s me growing up and being comfortable in my skin.
“These days, you won’t catch me with make-up day to day, and my dress sense has changed.
“The old Chelsee was tacky and I’m definitely more subtle now.
“It changed when I met my partner and felt more settled in life — I didn’t need to impress anyone, because he loves me just as I am.”
I fainted on the ice and fell on my coccyx
Chelsee Healey
Chelsee will be paired with ice skating pro Andy Buchanan when Dancing On Ice’s first live show airs on Sunday, January 12.
But training is more gruelling than she expected and she has already come a cropper.
She says of the contest: “I knew what the job would entail as far as the live shows go, and I was excited.
“I wouldn’t say I’ve regretted it, but I have had moments where I thought, ‘I don’t know if I can do this’.
“I wasn’t ‘getting’ the skating straight away and I started doubting myself.
“I fainted on the ice and fell on my coccyx — I felt it vibrate all the way up my spine.
“I remember Andy, who is brilliant, pulling me up and I went all dizzy.
“He pulled me off the ice and he said I was out for 30 seconds.
“I put it down to stress.
“I was attempting a spin and I did get the spin, then I fell.
“It was so frustrating.
“I got checked over and was OK.
“It was about a week after I had to keep stopping because of the pain.”
Chelsee adds: “I have had a few breakdowns, but it’s also rewarding because I’m so out of my comfort zone.
“With everything else that I’ve had going on personally, to be able to still get up every day and go and train, I feel really proud of myself.
“To do Dancing On Ice when I have a seven-year-old that can watch me and understand what Mummy is doing is the main reason to do it.
“I wanted to show the girls you can achieve anything you want to.
“They were my biggest inspiration for going on this show.”