How I countered fear from traumatic Chicago accident with solo travel
"Uneventful."
That was the cute and thankful response I gave, a few months ago, when people asked how my week was going. It was also the kind of sad and bland new year I would have hoped for if you'd asked me around the same time.
That's not me, though. Since I was little, I would use my traditional 12 New Year's grapes to make wishes, not resolutions. With each grape, I would visualize myself falling in love, conquering an ambitious hobby and experiencing moments of joy when I tried something new. So yes, asking for nothing to happen was uncharacteristic of me. But you see, in the middle of 2024, I was under a negative influence. The influence of pain, stress and fear after the events of July 16 — the day I got hit by a car.
Navigating life through chaos
"Get some rest," people say after traumatic events such as this. But no one really means it.
Have you spoken to police? Have you asked businesses if they caught the car on camera? Have you spoken to a lawyer? Why aren't you answering messages? Have you collected paperwork and signatures for your medical leave? Have you started physical therapy? Have you responded to everyone who called and texted to see if you're OK?
People want answers. People want results. People want justice. All I wanted was to avoid the outdoors, avoid interactions and simply go to sleep.
In the months that followed, when I'd get home and nothing exciting happened, it was a victory. Deep down, I knew I wasn't deserving of that playing-it-safe lifestyle. After I got through everyone's questions and checklists, I had to ask myself: What kind of person will I allow this experience to turn me into? Am I OK with it, and what I am going to do about it?
"If it took something crazy to throw my life off course," I thought, "maybe something reckless would help me get my life back on track."
About a week before my brother took off to his second planned trip to Japan, I bought a ticket and joined him in late November. It was my first time, so he guided me on the first two days as we explored Tokyo, Kyoto and Osaka. On the third day, I was on my own and had to find my way back from Osaka to Tokyo.
My brother coached me on a foolproof plan, but it was for nothing.
I got lost for about an hour looking for my departing train at the wrong station. A worker gave me instructions on how to leave to the correct station and catch my train that left in approximately 15 minutes. I ran up and down stairs, was a sweaty mess, but I made it just in time — proving those doctors back home fixed my hip just right.
My biggest achievement in Japan, however, was solving the puzzle that was Tokyo Station. When technology failed and I kept meeting dead ends, I picked up a physical map with a helpful "you're here" pin and figured my way out. Not gonna lie, I wish someone would've given me a map to help manage life after a hit-and-run.
Tell the world who you are
"Japan was chaotic, but exciting," I told new acquaintances sitting around the table at a cooking class in Rome two weeks later. This was a solo trip I planned and budgeted for early this year.
"You seem very well-traveled," a cooking classmate from Australia told me. It made me smile because, yes, that's who I decided to become just a few weeks ago.
This difficult year did change me, but — through privileged circumstances that allowed me to up and leave to faraway destinations — I refused to let it defeat me.
I am done wishing for big things and will focus more on doing big things. I will counter fear that paralyzes me with adventure that energizes me. I guess that's what you would call a couple of resolutions ... I'm still working on the other 10.
Maybe, for old time's sake, I will still sneak in a wish as I down those grapes on New Year's Eve in Paris.
Write to Someone in Chicago at someoneinchicago@suntimes.com.