I’m sick of c-section shame & being labelled snobby and posh but I didn’t crave the ‘natural’ birth ‘badge of honour’

ELECTIVE caesarean sections have hit a record high and women are having them not only for medical reasons but by choice.

One in four babies (25 per cent) born in NHS hospitals in England last year were delivered by caesarean section, compared to 23 per cent the year previously – and 13 per cent a decade ago.

Caroline Bragg

Mum Caroline knew she wanted a caesarean before she was even pregnant – but found it hard to get medics onside[/caption]

Here, mum-of-one Caroline Bragg, 38, a personal trainer who lives in Kingston-upon-Thames, south west London, explains why she opted for a surgical delivery despite the pressure to go ‘natural’ – and why she refuses to be shamed for it…

THE postnatal yoga teacher pulled a sympathetic expression and I braced myself for what was coming next.

“I’m so sorry you had a c-section,” she said, seriously. “How difficult for you.”

“Don’t be,” I replied breezily. “That was the birth I chose to have.”

In fact, my elective caesarean in October 2020 was my dream delivery – and how many women can say that?

I feel fortunate to have given birth to my son Fox, now four, in a calm, stress-free setting, with classical music playing and my husband Tom, 48, holding my hand.

Both of us emerged healthy and safe – yet to reveal I picked a c-section over attempting a vaginal birth is often looked down on or met with pitying words.

Even my dad, an old-school London black cab driver, said to me: “Are you too posh to push?”

I’m most certainly not – I’m simply a woman trying to make the best decision for her body and her baby.

Why is standing up for your own health derided as snobby or posh?

Would we say the same to people choosing anaesthetic for an op?

I’m not alone in my decision. New figures show a record quarter of the 398,675 deliveries in England last year were c-sections.

Around two-thirds of these caesarean births are elective, meaning a surgery planned for medical reasons or the preference of the mum.

The rest are emergencies when there is a risk to health or life.

Is it any wonder more of us want a c-section when we hear constant reports of maternity services in crisis and record numbers of new mums with birth injuries?

Caroline Bragg

I’m pleased that in recent years the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) has issued guidelines supporting women to have a planned op if they choose it.

Targets to get c-section numbers under an arbitrary 20 per cent figure have also been abandoned by NHS England.

Attitudes seem to lag behind however, even among experts, who were quick to ‘blame’ the figures on expectant mums being too old or too overweight.

And is it any wonder more of us want a c-section when we hear constant reports of maternity services in crisis and record numbers of new mums with birth injuries?

Birth trauma

Working with women scarred from labour was the leading reason why I knew I’d opt for a c-section even before I got pregnant.

As a personal trainer specialising in postnatal rehab, clients would come to me with all sorts of horrific physical and mental scars.

There were prolapses, fourth degree tears and more.

Worse still was the emotional toll and feelings of guilt, shame and trauma I saw in them.

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Many had been led to believe that their bodies were ‘designed’ to give birth and it was possible to ‘plan’ their delivery.

Advocates of ‘natural birth’ had promised them they could simply breathe through the pain and the baby would slip out, accompanied by candles and whale music.

Even doctors and midwives were in on the act, frightening mums-to-be with statistics around c-section complications and being unable to breastfeed or bond afterwards.

In an age where we laud medical advances for conditions like diabetes and cancer, it feels like we are stuck in the dark ages with birth.

And there’s nothing ‘natural’ about interventions like forceps and episiotomies anyway.

As someone with a hypertonic pelvic floor from years of jumping around, I knew it would be hard for my muscles to relax, increasing my risk of needing these.

‘I really had to fight my corner’

While my husband supported my decision, knowing it was my body and my choice, the medics were harder to convince.

I really had to fight my corner.

From my booking-in appointment, I made it clear that an elective c-section was my preferred option.

I wanted to face a known risk rather than a host of unknowns I couldn’t control.

Caroline Bragg

Perhaps it was my personality but I felt I could plan my recovery from abdominal surgery much easier than prepping for a potentially hard-to-see internal injury.

It made sense given my circumstances too.

As a self-employed mum, there was no generous maternity leave package.

I think a mum-to-be who wasn’t as well-informed could have been bullied into a vaginal birth she was scared of.

Caroline Bragg

I needed to be back working with clients within a few months and this gave me clarity.

I was also pregnant during the early months of the pandemic, with its ever-changing restrictions around maternity wards.

By having a set date and method, Tom, an IT analyst, could be fully involved and I wouldn’t face the horror of delivering Fox alone.

A delayed decision

It took until week 34 of my pregnancy for consultants at my local hospital, Kingston, in south west London, to approve my request.

Shockingly, at one meeting, a doctor quoted data to me on the risk associated with c-sections that was outdated and incorrect.

Luckily, I’d done my research and gone armed with the facts.

But I think a mum-to-be who wasn’t as well-informed could have been bullied into a vaginal birth she was scared of.

I was also warned I might not be able to have a second baby afterwards.

But as my husband is ten years older than I am, we knew we only wanted one.

‘I felt empowered’

Being fully prepared for my planned c-section at 39 weeks meant I felt empowered in the operating theatre.

I knew who everyone was and what their jobs would be.

I think labouring mums can often feel like a piece of meat, not a person, especially when it’s an emergency situation.

I’ll admit that a c-section costs the NHS more than a vaginal delivery.

Caroline Bragg

For Caroline, an elective caesarean was exactly what she wanted and she didn’t feel the need to try vaginal birth first[/caption]

But I could have ended up with an emergency one or another intervention, not to mention longer-term health issues that needed treatment.

When I talk to other people in my industry, as well as women’s health physio, lots of them agree that the planned section is just safer.

‘We bonded beautifully’

Despite the horror stories I was told, I breastfed Fox for a full year and we bonded beautifully.

I wonder if that’s because I wasn’t anxious and exhausted after a long labour?

To prepare for my delivery, I did a hypnobirthing course.

The teacher had never worked with a client undergoing an elective section before.

Now she tells me more expectant mums in my shoes are going to her.

When I train other fitness professionals, I make sure they use the term ‘vaginal’ not ‘natural’ when asking mums about their birth.

It makes me wince when I see people careless shaming women that way.

As a society, we focus so much on the method of birth, not ensuring the mum is fit and healthy afterwards.

Dads share posts about the ‘warrior’ wives who do it without even a paracetamol, like it’s a badge of honour.

Pregnancy is nine months – and raising a child is forever. Birth is a tiny part of that.

I worked hard at having a healthy pregnancy. The ‘natural birth’ badge of honour wasn’t something I craved.

I refused to be shamed or made to feel ‘less’ for my choice. 

Caroline Bragg