I almost jeopardised my marriage because I felt sex-starved and rejected – your advice saved me
DEAR DEIDRE: I ALMOST jeopardised my marriage because I felt sex-starved and rejected, but you encouraged me to talk to my husband and now I couldn’t be happier.
I’m an art lecturer at a university. My husband works there too.
We have been together for 21 years. I am 45 and he is 47.
We’ve had a few issues with intimacy. I crave it but he can live without it.
He has had some problems with erectile dysfunction in the past.
I had a new, mature student join my class. He is 39 and he’s talented and very handsome.
He started to ask my advice on certain techniques he was using and it was taking up time so I arranged for him to see me after class.
The more I got to know him, the more I wanted him.
There was a lot of flirting going on and I was getting butterflies going into work on the days when I knew he’d be there.
He’d given me his number and I had texted him a couple of times but this was about an upcoming exhibition.
He then asked me whether I’d like to go for a drink.
I really wanted to.
I kept envisaging him kissing me and us going to bed together.
My husband is a good man.
He is kind and caring and we get along so well and I knew an affair would be wrong.
I wrote to you before I did something silly.
You told me that I could be risking everything and asked that if the sex could be fixed with my husband, would it stop me from having an affair?
I really thought about it and that night I talked to my husband about our intimacy issue.
He agreed that he’d been neglecting me and agreed to go through some of the techniques in the support pack called Solving Erection Problems.
We had fantastic sex the following week and now we feel like teenagers again.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I am so glad that I was able to help.
Communication is key in any relationship.
If something isn’t right, you need to say it before you blow the whole relationship up.
It can sometimes be a simple fix.
Everyone needs some help from time to time.
The attention you craved was from the man you’d married.
It was great to hear that you were both prepared to work on this together.
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