Messages from Bunny the sheepadoodle
We all know that dogs can communicate with basic actions. If they want to go outside, a dog might signal that wish by standing at the door. That’s no big deal; but when it comes to subtle communication, Bunny seems to be the current superstar of dogs. He can tap out a non-random message by tapping on buttons that register words.
Research at the University of California in San Diego suggests that dogs can deliberately create messages by tapping on soundboards to convey thoughts.
One of the most noteworthy talking dogs is Bunny, the sheepadoodle. I would tend to believe one of the first messages that Bunny constructed by using the sound board would be obvious. My research staff said it went like this. Bunny told his master, “I’d like you to sit down. Now that I can talk to you in a language that you might understand, I’ve got a bone to pick with you. That’s kind of funny isn’t it, because you know how I like bones, though you’re probably not going to like this one.”
“Out of all of the cool names you could have chosen to call me, a proud sheepadoodle, why did you pick Bunny? As all the world can see, I’m a male and you chose to call me Bunny. I have to walk around the neighborhood ducking giggles, laughs, pointed fingers, and pointed paws.
“I have to walk through the neighborhood and hear, “Hi Bunny” when it could’ve been “Hi, Jack. Or hi, Charlie. Hi Prince, or even an old name like Duke, Rex, or Butch. You could’ve given me a name with gravitas, but you chose Bunny. I can see the other dogs look at me with a smirk as I walk by. I’m lucky I don’t get into a fight with other dogs every time I’m out for a walk.”
There are a few more things that Bunny had to say in his sound-board missive to his master. “First of all, I like it when you rub my chest, not my belly. Number two: When we go on walks, I sniff smelly places for information left by other dogs. Don’t pull me away until I’m done reading the note. For example, the other day, Buster left a message that said, ‘I’m no longer identifying as Buster the German Shepherd. From now on I’m identifying as a progressive Aussiedoodle named Pamela.'”
Since the Democratic Party is lost in the wilderness of a policy desert, they presently have their sights on running a talking dog in four years. As true believers in DEI, it is very likely they will run a naturally born dog for president to meet the constitutional requirements as they see it. One of the leading candidates as of now is a transgender dachshund named Penny who recently sent this message on a soundboard: “And I ask you to remember the context in which you exist.”
Yikes! Here we go again.
One more postscript came in from Bunny. He ended his message with a happy note for his master that got him off the hook. It said, “Do you remember your favorite pillow that I chewed up back in October? Well, I just received a pardon from President Biden. Woof, woof!!!!”