I hate looking after my kids & take extra stressful shifts in A&E to get away from them – but it makes me a BETTER mum
HER heart pounding as alarms wail out a menacing warning, Lottie Teideman races down a deserted hospital corridor.
It may sound like the stuff of nightmares, but for the mum-of-two it’s just a typical night at work.
And as high-pressure as her job is, intensive care nurse Lottie says it’s less stressful than being at home with her kids.
She’s not the only mum to find childcare overwhelming.
Singer Paloma Faith admitted last year that she felt so frazzled juggling motherhood with work, she wished she could go to hospital and get sectioned just to have a week off.
Lottie is on the same page.
She takes on extra shifts in A&E, just to have a break from caring for Bella, six, and Bailey, four.
There’s a joke that kids are the worst boss you will ever have — but there is a truth to it. At work, I have three thirty-minute breaks in 12 and a half hours.
Lottie Teideman, mum-of-two
Lottie says: “Sometimes I wish I’d fall down the stairs and break a leg, just to get some rest.
“I work in adult intensive care and find it less stressful and overwhelming than motherhood.
“I feel much more in control as I’ve done this particular job for seven years and can snap into action.
“I have a team around me, I think calmly and tell myself, ‘You’ve got this’.
“When the kids are running riot, I just feel like, ‘You haven’t got this at all’.”
Lottie, 32, from Reading, also believes her working conditions are better, despite the pressures the NHS is under.
Research by the Centre for Progressive Policy found that nearly half of working-age women provide an average of 45 hours of unpaid care a week, while a quarter of men provide 17 hours.
“There’s a joke that kids are the worst boss you will ever have — but there is a truth to it,” says Lottie, who is married to Alec, 35, an engineer. “At work, I have three thirty-minute breaks in 12 and a half hours.
“It means I can get a hot cup of tea, a minute to sit down by myself and not be harassed.
“At home it’s never-ending. I’m nagged and overwhelmed with noise, fighting and demands.
“My husband works full-time, so I do the lion’s share of the parenting.
“If I’m not at the hospital, I’m with the kids, so is it any wonder I book extra hours at work just to get a break from mum life?”
While Lottie hates night shifts, they do have a benefit — she is guaranteed hours of uninterrupted sleep the next day.
She says: “My son wakes up multiple times a night, but whenever I do a night shift I get to snooze during the day.
‘It’s a chance for me to be an adult’
“My daughter is at school and my husband takes Bailey out, or he’s at nursery.”
Lottie, who also hosts the podcast Tits, Tums And All Things Mum, adds: “Alec’s mum lives nearby and helps where she can, but I feel guilty relying on her.
“People haven’t been critical of me taking extra shifts, but some don’t understand why I do it.
“I explain that it’s a chance for me to be an adult again and not be around children.
“There’s always so much in my head — from school emails asking you to bring in £1 for non-uniform days, to life admin like doctor’s appointments, haircuts, playdates and clubs.”
It is the children’s arguments that cause Lottie the most stress.
She says: “Bella and Bailey are close in age and they wind each other up and fight, having tantrums and biting.
“It drives me insane. One is screaming, the other is crying.
“In those motherhood flashpoints, I feel like a bubbling volcano about to explode.
“But I never feel like that at work — it’s a stressful environment, but it’s a different kind of stress that I can handle.”
Lottie feels that getting time away from her kids at work makes her better at dealing with the challenges of motherhood.
“When I put on my uniform and go to the hospital, I have a reset and feel like a new mum,” she says.
“I’m more patient with the children and able to do gentle parenting.
When I haven’t had a break from the kids, I’m snappy and shouty.”
Another mum, Lisa Arterton, takes to the skies on long-haul cabin crew shifts — despite running a successful business as a therapist — to get a break from her three children.
She told how she returns to her old job a couple of times a month because she needs a break from her children.
Lisa, 41, says: “I’ve been a practising psychotherapist since 2018, but I’ve struggled to walk away from my cabin-crew job purely because of the rest I get between flights.
“I get to the hotel, shut my door and recuperate emotionally and physically, with uninterrupted sleep.”
In the last few years, the mum-of-three has flown to far-flung places like New York, Atlanta, Orlando and Barbados. But she isn’t interested in sightseeing.
I’ve told Edward that if I quit working as cabin crew, I’d need a solo hotel stay at least once a month.
Lisa Arterton, mum-of-three
“The main attraction is definitely the quiet hotel bedroom,” says Lisa, who is married to Edward, 42, a fitness and nutrition coach.
“I love the feeling of closing the door, having silence and time to get some rest and recovery.
“I have three children with big age gaps — Ellie, 15, Lucia, nine, and Hugo, three — and all have their own individual needs.
“That hotel stay allows me to top up my own emotional bucket so I can keep pouring into theirs.
“Getting that time to myself makes me a better mum and wife because I have more patience and empathy with my children’s ‘little people problems’.
“It allows me to be the mum I wish to be — approachable, loving, nurturing, emotionally available and in-tune with their needs.”
Lisa, who comes from Winsford, Cheshire, but currently lives on Spain’s Costa Blanca, says she feels outnumbered by her kids.
“I have a teenager, a tweenager and a toddler,” she says.
“Hugo has naturally taken up a lot of my time and attention over the last three years because he has physically been so demanding, as well as a terrible sleeper.
“At home, I could be woken up multiple times a night and Hugo often sleeps in the bed with me, but when I’m away I get an uninterrupted eight hours or more.”
Lisa does two long-haul return flights every month. This gives her two or three nights away, while the kids are at home with Edward.
“I’ve told Edward that if I quit working as cabin crew, I’d need a solo hotel stay at least once a month,” says Lisa, who runs Lisa Arterton Therapy. “But he has never begrudged me taking on this work.
“We both want to be as hands on as we can, but as he is the breadwinner, I end up doing the most.
“I love being a mum, I just need a break.
“So in order to survive I have to take that time.”
Lisa is thankful that no one has ever been critical of her choices.
“My father-in-law worked in the merchant navy, so our extended family understands that some jobs require time away,” she says.
“Plus they have all benefited from my cabin crew career and the perks. People might think it’s an extreme step to take, but at least I’m meeting my needs and getting paid at the same time.
“Even though I am working, time away puts a stop to any resentment that builds that I’m sacrificing time for me to care for others.
“It gives me a chance to step away, get a fresh perspective and come back with a renewed sense of gratitude towards my husband.”