My partner becomes defensive when I suggest a bit of variety in our sex life

DEAR DEIDRE: I LONG for a bit of variety in my sex life with my partner but he becomes defensive when I suggest it.

I am a woman of 25 and he is 27. We have been together for six months after meeting through a mutual friend.

We get on well and everything is fine except when it comes to our sex life.

Each time we have sex, I have to go on top.

When I suggest trying something different, he becomes defensive. He does nothing except lie there. It is always the same.

It is just so boring and I am worried things will never change.

I have even had thoughts about ending our relationship, which is something I really don’t want to do.

I am beginning to worry there is something wrong with him. Surely a different position every now and again is part of a healthy sex life?

DEIDRE SAYS: It is. But, if you are going to find out why he is so resistant, you need to talk to him to discover exactly why he seems so anxious.

Pick a moment, preferably not when you are about to have sex, to raise the subject with him.

Try to find out what he is scared of.

He may worry he won’t be able to get an erection, or keep one, or he may worry he won’t be able to climax.

Whatever position you are aiming for, sensuous and responsive foreplay is essential for you both to be fully aroused.

My support pack Best Positions For Sex explains more. Good luck.