Why more Filipino women are choosing live-in arrangements over marriage

MANILA, Philippines – For generations, marriage has been seen as the ultimate goal for couples in the Philippines. Two individuals go through courtship, become “exclusive,” wed after a few years, move in together, and maybe even have children. 

However, a recent study conducted by the Commission on Population and Development (CPD) with the Asian Center of Education, Research, and Training for Innovation (ACERT) suggests an increasing number of Filipino women, particularly those aged 20-29, are opting for live-in arrangements — or cohabitation — instead of marrying their partners. 

The study concluded that while marriage remains an aspiration for many, cohabitation is often seen as a more practical and beneficial setup. This trend is reflected in the 2022 National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS), which shows that the number of women in live-in relationships has quadrupled in the last three decades, rising from 5% in 1993 to 19% in 2022. 

This trend is also seen in the 2021 Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality (YAFS) Study, which showed that about 12% of the 20 million youth aged 15-24 are living in or cohabiting.

But what’s driving this shift? 

The researchers behind the study “Unearthing Perspectives in Nuptiality and Cohabitation: A Critical Discourse Analysis of Narratives of Women Aged 20-29 in Selected Urban and Rural Areas in the Philippines” identified eight possible reasons why cohabitation has become the next big thing among today’s young Filipinas. 

It’s a natural next step in a relationship

For many couples, moving in together is simply seen as the next phase of their relationship. Men, in particular, view cohabitation as a sign of deepening commitment, while women appreciate the emotional closeness the setup brings.

Parents are becoming more supportive

Filipinos normally would first seek approval from their parents before cohabiting with their partners, as parents would traditionally prefer that their children get married first before moving in with their partners. The study, though, found that parents are starting to approve of their children cohabiting, especially if they themselves have experienced the same setup. 

It’s a practical response to premarital pregnancies

Live-in arrangements are seen as the more practical choice when a couple is expecting a child. Doing so allows them to share financial responsibilities more efficiently and continue their romantic relationship. This setup, however, could also lead to more premarital pregnancies. 

Career considerations when raising a child together

Similar to the previous reason, cohabitation can allow couples to evenly share the responsibility of taking care of their child. It can also allow them to split household tasks more evenly — giving each of them equal opportunities to focus on growing their careers.

A way to escape past family trauma 

Women in the study cited the need to escape from family trauma as a reason for choosing cohabitation. Through live-in arrangements, these women feel they have more control over their future and can avoid repeating the mistakes they witnessed in their own families, as it allows them to get to know their partner more before getting married. 

Hassle of processing marriage requirements

Getting married in the Philippines requires time-consuming paperwork, fees, and even days off from work to process documents. For couples juggling jobs and financial responsibilities, these lengthy processes make marriage less appealing, prompting them to settle for live-in arrangements in the meantime. 

Social media’s influence on relationship perceptions

The women in the study shared that online content about marriage difficulties made them more cautious about getting married. 

Religious contradictions

Some women expressed that while they see marriage as sacred because of their religious beliefs, they end up choosing to cohabit instead because of “[strong] social realities.”

It’s clear that love and commitment in the Philippines are taking on new forms, ones that prioritize practicality, emotional well-being, and financial stability over traditional expectations. Whether through marriage or cohabitation, the ultimate goal remains the same: building strong, happy, and thriving families. – Rowz Fajardo/Rappler.com

Rowz Fajardo is a Rappler intern studying Doctor of Dental Medicine at the University of the Philippines Manila.