Fantasy Booking Perfect USA-Canada 4 Nations Face-Off Final
The 4 Nations Face-Off couldn’t have asked for a better conclusion, as the championship game promises to be filled with drama on Thursday.
Team USA will meet Canada in a rematch of the former’s victory on Feb. 18 — which was filled with fights, hard-hitting action and some incredible highlights. It’s not often you can replicate the level of drama that filled the first matchup, though, so we’re going to take matters into our own hands and book this thing like it’s WWE.
Let’s have fun before what promises to be a great game in Boston.
Kurt Russell takes over for Mike Sullivan
Kurt Russell’s speech in “Miracle” is one of the most iconic monologues in the history of film. Team USA should invite him into the locker room so he can deliver it to a group of men who can probably recite it from memory.
We would let him coach, too.
Jeremy Swayman vs. Jordan Binnington
Team USA would be insane to start anyone other than Connor Hellebuyck, but we think this game should start with a bang.
Jeremy Swayman skating onto the ice for The Star-Spangled Banner would melt brains, but our intention isn’t for him to make a single save. Swayman is there for a fight, and the roof might explode off TD Garden if the hometown goaltender skated toward the middle of the ice in order to throw hands with Jordan Binnington. Swayman has been itching for a fight since he first arrived in Boston, and there’s no better person to finally challenge him than the man who stole a Stanley Cup in that very same building six seasons ago.
Canada would probably be better off with someone else in net, anyway, so this is a win-win.
Brad Marchand vs. TD Garden?
How would people react if Brad Marchand scored the first goal of the game for Canada?
TD Garden might not have better memories with any current athlete, but you’d have to imagine the response would be rather icy. We wanted to have fun with these, but this one very well could happen and that has us feeling very excited for puck drop.
“Stone Cold” Charlie McAvoy
Yes, we’re going full kayfabe.
Charlie McAvoy probably isn’t even going to be in the building, but in the NHF (NESN Hockey Federation) he has to make an appearance. Team USA would be trailing entering the third period in this scenario, when suddenly glass shatters and the man affectionately known as “Chuckie Bright Lights” comes skating onto the with fury in his eyes and looking to dish out punishment to anyone wearing red.
Connor McDavid beware!
T.J. Oshie wins it in a shootout!
T.J. Oshie authored one of the greatest moments in the history of Team USA, putting the team on his back in a shootout to defeat Russia at the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics.
Picture this: Connor McDavid, Cale Makar, Nathan MacKinnon and Sidney Crosby all score in the shootout, but Auston Matthews, Matthew Tkachuk, Jack Eichel and Brady Tkachuck do, as well. Hellebuyck then makes a save on Sam Bennett. “Free Bird” then begins to play, when Oshie comes out of the tunnel to author yet another historic moment.
Oshie fires a slapshot through Adin Hill, who flies into the back of the net with the puck like Ben Stiller’s character in the 2004 comedy hit “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.”
You’re welcome.