Pregnant woman discovered her husband cheated on her – with her doctor
A pregnant woman found out her husband was having an affair with her male doctor, who then delivered their baby after she forgave them.
Rachel Marie Miller Sanders, 49, discovered her husband, Jason Miller, 51, had cheated on her with another man while she was expecting his baby.
But after getting over the initial shock, she forgave them both – and insisted she still wanted his new partner, Matt Peterson, 54, to help her through labour.
The trio co-parented their daughter, Ella, now 22, and Rachel went on to marry and have another child with her new husband, David, 52.
Despite the drama, the group all remain close friends, with Rachel recalling the initial heartbreak over being betrayed by her husband and best friend.
Rachel, a property manager and part-time sheep farmer from Boone, North Carolina, said: ‘I didn’t blame him for being gay. I felt like he was a victim of the societal pressures of trying to come across as ‘normal.’ I also believe a person is not defined by their mistakes.
‘Maybe that made it easier to forgive the affair, but realistically, I still loved and still cared about him. I knew the only way we could successfully raise our child together would be for me to work through the hurt and find a way to forgive. This doesn’t mean it was always easy, but we made it work.
‘As for my life now, I’ve been married to my husband, David, for 17 years. We have a beautiful blended family.’
Jason, a healthcare administrator from Atlanta, Georgia, said: ‘The three of us sat on the same couch and we had a conversation.
‘She shared she was devastated, and this was not what she wanted, but the child was being born and she wanted to show it could work as it is. She forgave us.
‘She still wanted Matt to deliver the baby. She said that if we were to stay together, she wanted Matt to be a part of her child’s life and to be the first thing she sees coming into the world.’
Jason said Rachel was his first love and he never intended to deceive her – mentioning his sexuality was ‘buried so deep’ that it took him a while to realise.
‘How she reacted is totally reflective of her character, moving on with love and grace – that really paved the way forward – she is incredible,’ he said.
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He had been married to Rachel for five years when he met Matt through work in October 2002 and hit it off – initially as friends.
Jason said: ‘Very soon we were hanging out as a four – my wife and I, and Matt’s wife and himself. We used to sit and watch American Idol together, eating Chinese takeout, go out for food together, go on holidays together – we were a little group.’
But while on an office retreat in May 2003, the pair shared a room and became intimate after chatting for three hours straight.
Jason said, ‘We went to sleep, and I asked him if he felt strange about what happened. He said he didn’t, but we both felt bad because we had cheated.’
They spoke openly about their struggles with being honest about their sexuality – and Jason realised he had known he was gay since he was six.
Jason said, ‘That was the first time I ever spoke about it to anyone, including myself. I had always felt different growing up, and had a lot of female friends, and I must have buried the fact that I was gay so deep that I didn’t even recognise it myself. I just felt different.’
They discussed how they would tell their wives and even joked that it would be more difficult if one of their wives became pregnant.
But when Jason returned, Rachel told him she was expecting.
‘We all went for a celebratory meal as a quadrupole, and Matt and I were sitting across the table with each other. There was excitement and fear, and sitting across the table with someone I am developing feelings for and who knows the full me.’
Not knowing how to tell Rachel, Jason said his family thought his nervousness was down to his fears of becoming a dad.
But when the guilt became too much, he told his wife, who was four months pregnant, in September 2003.
Jason said: ‘Once you tell a lie, you keep lying until you tell the truth, and I wanted to tell the truth, I wanted to be honest with my wife. I told her three things – I have had an affair, it was with a man, and I was gay.
‘Her first instinct was to grab my hand and say ‘no you are not’, it is a pretty horrific thing to think back on, I was very concerned about her and the baby.’
But Rachel forgave them both, and Ella was born in February 2004, delivered by Matt.
Jason said: ‘I learnt so many lessons about resilience and communication through this, all because of her. That moment when Ella was born was so defining, and it’s shaped who I am.’
Jason and Matt are now celebrating 23 years together this year. They were legally married in a registry office in Washington DC on their 11 year anniversary.
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