Kanye poor? That’s a bit rich

Kanye reached new heights (or rather, lows) of DoucheBagDom this week, when he implored Mark Zuckerber, to send some dollars his way, writes Lara de Matos.

LARA DE MATOS

@Lara_de_Matos

There are those in life who have very little, but still manage to make the most of it – to the extent that they’re only too willing to share their meagre lot with fellow folk in need.

And then there’s Kanye West.

“Conceited”, “overweening”, “entitled”, “obnoxious” or “self-serving” are some of the epithets often used to describe the man notorious for his perpetually unsmiling “punch me” countenance. But even by Kanye’s arrogant megalomaniac standards, the music mogul managed to reach all new heights (or rather, lows) of DoucheBagDom this week, when he implored Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg, to send some dollars his way. One billion dollars, to be precise.

According to wayward West, his plea was motivated by the $53 million debt hanging over his head – or so he says – for which he called on “my brothers” to “please pray we overcome”. But rather than, oh, I dunno, declare bankruptcy or cut back on his extravagant “champagne and caviar”lifestyle (what?? An existence sans Birkin bags, gauche multicoloured fur coats, or regular sojourns in the plastic surgeon’s chair?? Perish the thought!), Kanye has come to the conclusion that those wealthier than he should foot his bill. After all, K is a mere millionaire, while Zuckerberg plays in the nine zeros league.

Besides, Mr West is a creative genius who “needs access to more money in order to bring more beautiful ideas to the world”, don’t cha know?

Forgetting, for a moment, that Kanye is quite obviously high on his own self-proclaimed Messiah hype, his sheer audaciousness does leave you wondering if the man isn’t playing us all for fools. And laughing right down to the bottom of his exorbitantly overpriced Yeezy trainers as he does so.

This, on account of the fact the rapper-turned-fashion designer has reportedly received support for his preposterous plea from “so many people (who) have called or emailed to help; hedge fund guys, billionaires, etc.”

Yup. He who, according to Forbes magazine, had no compunction in throwing wads of cash down for thousand-dollar dinners, travel on private jets, jewels valued at the $3 million mark – each! - and $20 million “modest family homes” over the past couple of years alone (which, hey, could explain the supposed debt issues) needs other people’s moola to “help the world” because “I care about humanity”.

Ah, bless. Yes Kanye, no doubt the folk who don’t know where their next meal is coming from, much less know who you are (or care, for that matter) will appreciate your sentiments, expressed while you sip on your bottle of Armand de Brignac and munch away at your gold-flecked $666 New York burger.

And that’s not even to speak of the “silver spoon in their mouths” entities silly enough to hand over their dough to someone so clearly undeserving of it!

Be that as it may, to draw on Kanye’s own words: “No matter what level you’re at in life, there is still a struggle.” Okay, sure. But of the 99 possible problems in the blinged-out bubble existence of someone who proclaims himself to be “the cockiest person in the world” (finally, a point on which we can agree!), poverty certainly ain’t one!